This morning I awoke way earlier than I had been planning too. When I looked at the clock it said 6:15. Dang I was hoping to sleep in until at least 7:00 but alas I was awake so I decided to make the most of this unplanned early morning. A trip to the grocery store was looming and after I had enough coffee to give me the shakes I was off.
I usually avoid the grocery store on Saturday and Sunday mornings because it is so dang busy. the new ad always comes out on Saturday and everyone is raring to go and get the new sale merchandise. But unfortunately the grocery store played a sneaky trick on me. They were running a special two-day sale that started on Saturday. Well played grocery store, well-played. The last time I went to the store in the morning some of the employees asked me what I was doing there so early. The reason behind my early bird trip was because I ran out of creamer for my coffee. They understood.
I thought I was well prepared for all of the chaos at the grocery store. I had my list all ready to go with the correct prices written next to the sale items and how many you could get for the sale price. I know I am weird but I have been fooled too many times by tags that were worded funny and people literally hitting me with their cart so I was hurried and didn’t purchase the right items. I had a slight sinus headache when I left and when I pulled into the parking lot it turned into a pounding monster. Cars everywhere and people acting like they had never been in public before and walked in a cross walk before. I don’t understand what it is about the grocery store or department stores for that matter that make people lose their manners. Who stands in the cross walk gabbing when cars are waiting to go through? Once in the store the crap storm reached an all time high. People were literally hitting people with their carts and everyone wanted to browse even though they had a line of people behind them. While I was at the checkout someone tried to squeeze their cart in between mine and a display of water. They barely fit through and I thought for sure I would get knocked out by falling bottles of water. I mean seriously is this how I am going to go? Death by water bottle while trying to get some hot deals at the grocery store? Jeez.
I know I am being dramatic but what else am I going to do with my little life? I feel like when you get to the store you should get a name tag explaining your situation. Kinda like the gym t-shirt thing I talked about before. My name tag today would have said. “Got up way earlier than planned.” “Has sinus headache, is on a diet and a budget.” Am I on a strict diet? Heck no! Well, not strict enough to stop me from buying those Red Velvet flavored Oreos. In my defense they are a limited edition. Maybe there should also be little checkpoints at the store too. Where you can scan your list to make sure you have gotten what is on it so you don’t forget things. Or it could help you stick to healthy eating by saying “Bitch please; those cookies are not part of your diet.” Okay maybe the last one isn’t a good idea. Also a small tape measure in every cart would be nice. So when the silly person that tries to wedge between you or your cart; you can pull that sucker out and be like “Nope sorry.” “You can back yourself up.”
Even though going to the grocery store was awful today I did have some good things happen. I made friends with an elderly gentleman in the parking lot when he complimented me on how clean my car was. I also had two funny little boys listing off all of my items while they were on the conveyor belt. It was super cute 🙂 Oh and I did get those hot deals. I am now the proud owner of 23 cans of cream of mushroom soup. Laugh now but I can guarantee you it won’t be funny when it’s summer and you have to pay $1.79 for it instead of a $1.00. Meanwhile I will be making awesome recipes with all of my cream soup 😉
If any grocery store owners read this or people in upper management seriously think about my suggestions. I think they are very well thought out and maybe even trendsetting.