Ferberizaton Update

Looking back I realize I am not the best on updating about previous posts and such so I am going to do a little update on the ferberization situation or sleep-gate as I like to call it. I will throw in a couple other updates as well.

We are well into our ferberizing. It is not going well. Avery did sleep a good five hours before she woke up last night wanting to do her normal spa routine. As ‘Won’t Get Fooled Again” played in my head Avery was placed into her own warm snuggly bed and I retreated back to mine. To say she was upset is an understatement. There were books a flyin’ and words being said under her breath. I held strong until I had to get up and then she was released from bedroom jail. Much to her surprise she was not going back to bed but she was going downstairs to start her day. Another part of my evil ferberization plan. As of right now we are working on early naps before I cut them out completely. I am just not sure Avery is truly ready to go without a nap. If she doesn’t get her nap in she crashes out at 5:00 p.m. and then it really does get to be a late night so I am going to try napping around 11:30. We have also been spending tons of time outside and I think that does help too. The arboretum helped in getting her to sleep. Which was great but it only worked for the afternoon nap so I think we will try going in the evening. After we had been home for a little while from the arboretum Avery started pulling and itching her left ear. Great, during ferberization I gave her an ear infection. Then of course other absurd thoughts came into my head like she had some weird bug in her ear that was on its way to her brain. You know, totally logical things that could happen on an innocent hike. Luckily it was just a lot of wax. For some reason she had tons of it even though I had just cleaned her ears the day before. So to recap on the sleeping we are looking for a little more of this at night

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And a little less of this at night

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As much as I love that little face I need some sleep! Speaking of sleep for me I did find out that I have a sinus infection which is causing me to feel extra tired. Great. Better than the alternative though. So now I am on antibiotics and some new to me allergy med that has a decongestant so if some of this doesn’t make sense it is due to that. I get so loopy sometimes on cold meds it is crazy. So far this one hasn’t been too bad.  While I was at the clinic I was pleasantly surprised by the fact they were having a book fair. It definitely was my lucky day. I picked up some books for Avery and some books for one of the gift baskets I am going to do for the pig roast. I will definitely post pictures of the baskets when I finish them up. I also learned I lost one pound. Not sure how that happened because I definitely haven’t been full strength on the workout train lately. Between sleep-gate and my sinuses I just haven’t been working out as much as I would like to. But I am getting back to full strength because personal trainer wants to do a 5k this summer. Yikes! I am excited and nervous. I will be really happy if I make it through without being hauled off on a stretcher. Not because I think I can’t do it (well, maybe a little) but I am so accident prone. Stayed tuned for that one. I will either be posting a picture of me smiling or me loaded up into an ambulance.

Wish us luck with sleep-gate. I think we need it 😉 If you have any magical tips or tricks I would love to hear them. I feel like we have tried everything….

Ferberizing the “baby”

The past couple of weeks have been very exhausting. Between fighting off a cold/sinus infection that refuses to go away and Avery deciding that she would like her feet rubbed in the middle of the night I am a walking zombie. It seems like every time Avery sleeps I am awake with a cough or just a general feeling of crappiness. I cannot shake this cold for long so I am giving in and going to the Doctor tomorrow. I am sure I will find out I have some debilitating condition or cancer. Or the dreaded words “You have a virus.”

Let’s move on to Avery. Avery has this condition called I like to mess with my parents. For the past week or so off and on she has been running into our room in the early morning hours and wants us to rub her feet, hold her hand and general cuddling. The first couple of nights I fell for it. Of course I was thinking things like maybe she is sick or her stomach hurts. Then I got wise to her scheme. It happened one night as we were laying on the couch and I was trying to get her to go back to sleep. I turned on Modern Family because I was sick of listening to the clock tick. (We always end up with really loud clocks) I so happened to turn on the episode where Mitchell and Cam are “ferberizing” the baby. (Letting the baby cry it out) In the episode Mitchell is pretty much forcing Cam to do this while Cam lays sobbing in bed listening to Lily cry. I would do the same thing when we tried to let Avery cry it out before. There were other scenes in the episode that resonated with me. Like Cam sitting up with Lily and watching t.v. Ahem. So I decided it was time to “ferberize” my “baby” Avery was put in bed with her nightlight on gave her Deema doll and shut the door. She proceeded to cry like we were pulling her fingernails off one at a time. This went on for about an hour or so. She would take small breaks and I could hear books being looked through and toys being played with. Then she decided to try and violently open her door. She is not quite strong enough yet to open the door but she will twist and turn the handle like a mad woman. That drove me insane so I went downstairs. The noise must have finally woke husband up because he came running downstairs desperate for a nuk. In the past he has been the one that wanted Avery to cry it out but I guess he changed his tune. So he sat up and rubbed her feet and did all of the other things that she needed to fall back asleep. Blurg. Now they are both against me. Fast forward a couple of nights and we are back in the same boat. But this time something magical happened. I put Avery in her room and she actually fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later in amazement that she was still sleeping. I really thought I had something until this morning. Avery woke up just in time for what she thought would be a spa day/night. You know getting her feet rubbed, etc. I had other plans. Avery went back into her bedroom where I thought she would be a good little girl and fall asleep to the trance of her nightlight. Not so fast mom. It was the whole crying scene over again topped off with trying to escape her bedroom jail. Finally it was time for me to get up anyway so I paid the price and bailed her out of her bedroom jail.

You would think this is where out story ends but it’s only just beginning folks. I am still going to try and “ferberize” the “baby” but with a twist. I am going to exhaust her until she can’t keep her little eyes open anymore. My first step was to take her to the arboretum this morning for her first official hike. We had a lot of fun and she started yawning half-way through the hike. Score! Well, it wasn’t much of a hike but I have to say she did really good and had lots of fun 🙂 I guess you will have to stay tuned for tonight’s results.

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Parenting Is

Parenting is thinking you are giving up an old life for a new life with a child. Then you hear their first cry and realize you never lived until that moment.

Parenting is scary. I have to bring this baby home now? Where are the nurses?

Parenting is messy. That all to familiar poop smell at 3:00 a.m. or the first solid food feeding.

Parenting is exciting. The first hug, first steps, first words and all of the other amazing firsts.

Parenting is exhausting. That moment when you realize you don’t remember the last time you slept more than four hours in a row.

Parenting is fun. Who doesn’t want to play hide and go seek or chutes and ladders again?

Parenting is hard. When they are in pain or get their feelings hurt and you want to cry right along with them.

Parenting is rewarding. Watching your child accomplish something for the first time and seeing that they believe in themselves.

Parenting is learning to be silly again. Laughing and having fun with your child is the best.

Parenting is love. Loving another human being more than you could ever love yourself.

Parenting is when you look back and realize you would do it all over again ❤

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10 Inspiring Life Lessons From A Brave Mom -TIP Article

Hey everyone!! I was asked to write a guest post for Tuned In Parents. Of course I happily accepted and I think it was a great opportunity 🙂 You can find my post here http://tunedinparents.com/2015/04/03/10-inspiring-life-lessons-from-a-brave-mom/ If you have a chance give it a read and let me know what you think!!

In other news we are getting ready for Easter over here so that means a Saturday morning trip to the grocery store. I am going to try and sneak in a quick hike at the arboretum first so hopefully I will be nice and relaxed 😉 We are not doing the traditional Easter ham we actually were given a beef tenderloin so we are going to grill that up with mushrooms and wrap it in bacon. Oh my mouth is watering already! Then we have an Easter egg hunt planned for later in the afternoon with my bestie and her kids so that should be a blast!

We were able to get (gasp!) a babysitter Thursday night so we were able to help personal trainer celebrate at his retirement party. It was tons of fun! Judging from the tiny headache I had yesterday I may have had a little too much fun 😉 Luckily Avery took a nap yesterday so I was able to rest. Avery was very busy “shopping” with her shopping cart yesterday and playing with her toys (she was trying to ignore me). I think she was a little upset with me that I wasn’t home for bedtime on Thursday night. Friday morning when she woke up she wouldn’t look at me or talk to me. I was good enough to hold her hand and rub her feet though 😉  I also found an alarming present by the mailbox yesterday that Percy had left for us. A mole. You all know how much I hate mice and moles are in the same category. I wondered why Percy refused to come in the house on Thursday and now I know. Of course we had to let him know how proud we were of him.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend!!

A day in the life of a toddler: A timeline

This post was actually inspired by my husband. Last night he was talking to Avery about the things she does in a day/night. Avery loves to pull my date book off of the desk and flip through it. We always say how busy she is with all of her appointments. When she was flipping through the book he started saying random times and things she does at those times. He was actually spot on so I decided to do a little post about it and add a couple of things. I am going to start with bedtime and move on from there.

8:00 p.m. Get pj’s on and run around like crazy person.

9:00 p.m. Decide that it is okay to lay down but still refuse sleep.

10:00 p.m. After an hour-long fight give in and close eyes.

1:00 a.m. Wake up for some unknown reason and run to mommy and daddy’s bed.

1:10 a.m. Start playing with mommy’s hair and kick daddy a couple of times.

1:20 a.m. Let parents fall back asleep and then start crying because I farted.

1:30 a.m. Mommy carries me back to my room for some unknown reason. Dang I am not done playing with her hair.

2:00 a.m. Crap, I fell asleep again.

4:30 a.m. I’m up! Why am I in my own bed? Must go back to mommy and daddy’s bed.

5:15 a.m. Whoops I fell back asleep. Just in time for mommy to get up and start her day.

8:00 a.m. Ahh I am awake and fully rested. Just in time to catch mommy before she would get any alone time.

8:30 a.m. Freak out because I am so hungry but then when my breakfast is presented to me refuse to eat it.

8:45 a.m. Realize that mommy isn’t kidding and she is not going to make me anything else.

8:50 a.m. Give in and eat my oatmeal.

9:00 a.m. Watch Sesame Street

9:20 a.m. Decide to take all of my toys out of the toy box.

10:00 a.m. Watch mommy do some light cleaning

10:20 a.m. Open curtains and put hands on every window mommy just cleaned.

10:30 a.m. Take all clothes out of laundry basket and throw them on the floor.

11:00 a.m. Demand a snack and only eat a couple of crackers.

11:15 a.m. Sit on cat. Mommy flips a lid and starts yelling at both of us.

11:16 a.m. Cat makes really weird noise. Does that mean he likes me?

11:30 a.m. Mommy starts talking about nap time.

11:35 a.m. Run around like a wild animal

11:50 a.m. Mommy says it’s time for lunch.

12:00 p.m. I try my yogurt that I eat everyday and decide that I do not want to ever taste it again.

12:05 p.m. Oh crap mommy really isn’t kidding cause she just put my yogurt back in the fridge.

12:10 p.m. Eat yogurt

12:30 p.m. Mommy says it is time for a nap and she opens the gate for the stairs.

12:31 p.m. Hmmm do I want to go upstairs? I will close the gate myself and go over my options.

12:32 p.m. I guess the only option is to go upstairs. Per mommy.

12:34 p.m. Once I get upstairs and into my room mommy says she has to go potty and she will be right back. Score! That means I have just enough time to take every book off of the shelf.

12:35 p.m. Mommy enters my bedroom and is not happy. Do I care? Not really cause I don’t have to pick up the books yet.

1:30 p.m. Finally give in and take a nap. I might as well because I am tired.

3:30 p.m. Wake up and demand to cuddle with mommy for at least one hour. If she does not comply I will have a massive fit which includes laying on the ground and crying.

4:30 p.m. I feel better after crying and I want to watch Bubble Guppies.

5:00 p.m. Watch mommy do dishes and start supper.

5:10 p.m. Since I am in the kitchen I might as well put all of my magnets on the floor.

5:30 p.m. I start putting some of my magnets back on the fridge after mommy steps on most of them.

6:00 p.m. Daddy is home!!

6:01 p.m. Let daddy pick me up and hug me but that is it. No kisses.

6:15 p.m. Eat one bite of supper with spoon. Continue eating supper with hands.

6:16 p.m. Hear a Progressive insurance commercial on t.v. and run into living room. What? I like Flo.

6:16 p.m. and 10 seconds Mommy shuts t.v. off. What a buzzkill she is.

6:30 p.m. I finally finish eating.

6:45 p.m. Throw all of my toys on the floor after mommy picks them up and vacuums.

7:30 p.m. Eat chips with daddy and get them all over the freshly vacuumed floor.

7:45 p.m. Brush my teeth. I love brushing my teeth!

7:50 p.m. See mommy carrying pj’s and start whining.

7:51 p.m. Hear mommy say to daddy that she thinks I will go to sleep early tonight because I played so hard this evening.

7:52 p.m. Devise a plan to make sure I stay awake

8:00 p.m. OMG she is putting my pj’s on. Must run around like a crazy animal.

This pretty much sums up a day in the life of Avery. We are very lucky to have our wild little woman ❤ She makes life fun!

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The food wars

Today I realized I am raising a scavenger. Another hard truth also surfaced; she is learning from the best… her mother. I never thought that I would ever hide food from a child until I had one.

I guess we can blame ourselves for some of this scavenger behavior. Avery is a very picky little girl so when she wanted something off of our plate we would give it to her so she would try new things. Of course like most things in parenting it backfired big time. Now everything of ours is fair game. She doesn’t even limit her scavenging to us she will take food out of anyone’s hands or off of their plate. I have had to explain to people that yes, we do feed her she just likes food better if it is on someone else’s plate.

The things I have said and done to be able to eat alone are pretty embarrassing. I am hoping I am not alone in the things I am about to tell you. I have snuck popsicles in my pocket and eaten them upstairs so I don’t have to share. I have eaten things that I really don’t like very much because I knew Avery didn’t like them. A couple of days ago I sliced myself up some summer sausage because in the past Avery refused to eat it so I thought I would be safe. Nope, she started stealing slices off of my plate and running away smiling and laughing like a mad woman. I am glad she ate some form of meat but what kid doesn’t like chicken nuggets but eats summer sausage. We once made Avery sit at the table and try a chicken nugget. She refused until we weren’t looking and she swiped two off of her brother’s plate. After that she is back to refusing. I have hidden food behind my back and the computer screen. One day I was caught eating by someone and they asked why I was in the closet eating. I replied “I don’t want to share this with Avery and you can’t make me!” Who is the toddler here?

It’s amazing to me how kids can hear a wrapper or the crinkling of a chip bag from miles away.  We have resorted to putting chips in a bowl even if she is napping. Trust me she will wake up for chips.The way Avery’s eyes light up when she sees a bag of chips is kinda scary. Now if only her eyes would light up when she saw a plate of meat and veggies we would really have it made. Avery loves most fruit so we are good there. Except grapes and those small orange things called “Cuties” By watching the commercial for “Cuties” I thought everyone loved them. Not my kid. She loves to lick them a little and then shove them in my mouth. Same with grapes. Except the grapes get dangerous because once she is done shoving grapes in her mother’s mouth she tries to put the vine in there. It is a little alarming to have a grape-vine coming at your eyes and mouth at warp speed. (You know I have that thing where I hate things by my eyes) It’s funny and cute when your toddler is “feeding” you until you have an eye patch

Am I the only parent hiding food from children? I really hope not. If Avery is the only scavenger in the world we are in trouble. If you are hiding from your children in closets eating let me know. If you eat openly in front of your children I suggest you come over to the dark side. It is so nice to be able to eat a whole snack alone.

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The first beggar. Maybe he taught her…..
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See how she is smiling?

Sifitng through the positive and the negative

First off I have to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read, shared, commented and messaged me about my last post. I have had the most views I have ever had yesterday and I was pretty dang close to having a record-setting day on Sunday!! So awesome to see all of the views, comments and shares 🙂 I am going through my emails and notifications as we speak so I am hoping I don’t miss anyone. It was an awesome pick me up on a scan day to see my views soaring. Speaking of my scan I passed with an A+ according to my Doctor 😉 It was awesome news to hear but we had to say goodbye to my Oncologist because she is leaving 😦 She did promise me that my next Oncologist would be as smart and nice as she is so that made me feel better. Another positive on scan day; I saw the absolute neatest thing at the clinic I go to. When we walked in we noticed some nurses and Doctors gathered by the door and we both wondered what was going on. After we checked in and sat in the waiting room I noticed an elderly couple walking from the chemo area into the waiting room. Once they got closer to the staff that had gathered by the door everyone started clapping and cheering for them. Then the gentlemen rang a bell because he had just finished his last chemo!! It was really awesome to see that! Oh did I mention the couple was holding hands? Super cute ❤ Since this is only my second scan at this clinic and I didn’t receive my chemo there we had never seen this before. When I finished my last chemo I received a bottle of sparkling grape juice and a little basket full of info about life after treatment. Some of the nurses that I had stopped to see me before I left. Actually the first nurse to administer my chemo gave me my grape juice and told me she asked to be the one to give it to me because she was so proud of me that I finished my chemo 🙂 All of the nurses really made my last day of chemo a pretty awesome day 🙂 All of the positive thoughts and words were and still are greatly appreciated! It is truly wonderful to see and experience medical staff that truly care about their patients. Thank you to all of you for doing what you do!

You are probably wondering what in the world my negative is. Well, on Sunday we learned that someone decided to go on a shopping spree on us at Wal-Mart in a different state. Blurg. I found out something was a miss at the worst place possible. I was innocently swiping my card at the grocery store and it wouldn’t work. So I had to write out; wait for it…. a check! You know those pre-historic things you have lying around that no one uses anymore?  Except for me at the grocery store on an extremely busy Sunday. Somehow these little nerds living in their parents basements have learned how to steal your numbers and put them on another card to be swiped at any destination of their choice. Well, nerds I hope you get scratched by your fake cards and your mom quits cutting the crust off of your sandwiches! It sounds like we will be getting our funds back it will just take a little time. Luckily my card was flagged so these nerds only got two purchases on us. Oh and I filed a police report so watch out nerds I am coming and I love watching mystery shows. Not the fake ones either but real life so I know what I am doing 😉 Sorry for the use of the word “nerd” but I figured the other words I was using for them were not appropriate for a blog. So in-between lab work, my scan and my appointment I got to make a whole bunch of phone calls. Nerds…. I did get a little time to pick up a super cute Super-Woman t-shirt for Avery. But instead of being an adult super-woman she is toddler sized which makes the shirt even cuter.

One more negative is that Avery and I are in the midst of allergies. So we are both wearing a new perfume called Vicks vapo-rub and our world is very foggy. So if this post doesn’t make sense you can thank Mucinex. I think I am the only person in the world that cannot handle taking allergy or cold meds. The only time I took Claritin I swear I had an out-of-body experience. I did find an allergy med that I can handle taking but I needed reinforcements this time (insert Mucinex and a truckload of Kleenex)

Back to positive. I was thinking for like a week that maybe I needed a small break from y house so even though scan day was coming I was excited to get out of the house. Well that feeling lasted for about an hour because once we got to the clinic I saw a little girl who looked just like Avery and it made me miss her terribly. I guess she missed me too because she has been clinging to me ever since I got home yesterday. As far as she knows I was only gone for 5 1/2 hours because she slept until 8:00 a.m. yesterday but I guess that was long enough for her. I take it Percy missed me too because he has also been by my side since I got home. My last positive is that my labs and scan were clear so I was able to wake up this morning and enjoy a very pretty sunrise. I will post a pic and if you look really close you can see the moon. Again thank you all so much for reading and the awesome messages and comments!!

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Sometimes I just need a reminder

I am the type of person that needs a reminder for everything. Even though I have a date book I still write myself a note the day before an appointment or I keep my appointment card. I have to write a list for the grocery store or any shopping for that matter. Sometimes I even write myself a to-do list for the next day. One thing I never thought I would have to be reminded of was why I wanted to become a mother.

After infertility struggles and losing our son I never in a million years dreamed of how many times parenting can be so frustrating. I guess I was so naïve to think  I would be living in this dream world where my baby/toddler would be perfect and always behave. I would get plenty of sleep and have tons of patience. Then came my Avery and she tests my limits quite a bit. Oh and she doesn’t sleep much either. It seems like every time I am at the end of my rope I get a reminder of how lucky I am to be able to have a baby and bring her home.

My first big reminder that I can remember was when we first brought Avery home from the NICU. I was going through my second round of chemo and I was exhausted and feeling like I was hit by a bus. Maybe it was the chemo or the hormones but I was a wreck. I was sobbing and just pleading for some sleep and relief from feeling sick all of the time. Once I got Avery to lay down I was so ready for a short nap before her next feeding. I was flipping through the guide looking for something to watch until I fell asleep when a show caught my eye. It was about a famous couple that had gone through infertility struggles and was finally able to have a baby of their own via surrogate. The episode that was on was the one where they had the baby. Before the episode was over I found myself running to Avery’s bassinet to pick her up and hold her. Watching the flashbacks of their infertility struggle and the joy of finally having their own baby gave me a huge reminder. I fought so hard to have my little gal and now all I could do was feel sorry for myself. Of course there was a lot of cuddling after that and more tears. But this time it was happy tears and I was reminded how lucky I was to have my own miracle to snuggle and love.

Today I had another reminder. I have an impending scan looming in my future which always makes me a ball of nerves. The closer the scan gets the more my patience wears thin. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I forget that I had cancer. I guess I should say I don’t forget but it gets pushed to the side until a scan comes. We have had a couple long nights due to Avery’s molars coming in and me being up all night thinking about all of the types of cancer I could have. So when we got an invite to go and play outside with a friend I gladly accepted. I knew Avery wasn’t feeling the best but I thought maybe getting outside would be good for both of us. Of course my little spitfire proved me wrong. She threw a fit in the restaurant and was really testing what little patience I have left. Of course she was elated to go and play on the toys but once we got home again it was back to the cranky toddler business. After an interesting bath followed by more toddler behavior we moved to the living room. For some reason I decided to check my appointment letter because I keep getting the times messed up. The second I picked my letter up Avery started screaming on the couch. When I looked over she had her hands shoved in her mouth and she was saying “Mom!” Oh I felt so bad for her. She was in tons of pain because of her teeth. I kept looking at the letter and then at her . That’s when the reminder came. I could have not been here to take care of her when she needs me. I could have gotten cancer before I became pregnant with her and would not have been able to have her.

I am sure there will be more hard days but I welcome the reminders. Even though we have struggles a smile from my little miracle can make those struggles fade away. Sometimes I just need a reminder.

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What I am doing in the bathroom

Don’t worry this post does not describe any disgusting bathroom stories. But I am going to talk about the bathroom and if that makes you queasy maybe move along to another post or come back tomorrow 😉

I am going to make an admission here that I have not made to anyone except close friends and confidants. I am not always going to the bathroom when I am in the bathroom. Sometimes a girl just needs some alone time and the confines of the bathroom is the only place I seem to get it some days. Sure there are the occasional times I get alone time in the morning when everyone else is sleeping or at night when everyone else is sleeping. See the trend here? I like sleep and the only time I get alone time is when everyone else is and I would like to join them. So the only place I am left with is the bathroom.

I get asked at least once or twice a week what I am doing in the bathroom. I never wanted to admit what I was doing in there because then the jig would be up. But I really have no choice because they won’t leave me alone. Whether it’s knocking on the door or talking about my bathroom time. This afternoon we had to have a half-hour long discussion on what I do in the bathroom. Husband brought it up (he may be tricking me here which he loves to do) but he always alludes to the fact that I have potty problems. Maybe I do but it’s really none of his business. Today he asked again “What do you do in there?” I of course replied with “None of your business; why do you keep asking?” He replied with “Sometimes I worry that something happened to you in there because you are gone for so long.” Just a little dramatic. I said something to the effect of “Just leave me alone unless you hear a thud in there; then come because something is wrong.” I got an eye roll. Then he says “You really want me to leave you alone unless you fall on the ground?” “Yup that’s what I said.”

With the invention of the smart phone and iPod it makes it very easy to spend countless minutes passing time away in the bathroom. Of course magazines and newspapers work too but they are so bulky. Smartphones and iPods can be hidden very easily. Plus it is really hard to go on Pinterest when all I have is a newspaper. I know you are wondering “How in the world does she go to the bathroom without a child getting to her?” The answer is this-baby gate. Ah yes the baby gate for now keeps her out of the upstairs bathroom. Of course this only works when someone is downstairs to keep an eye on her. that is where husband and/or step-son come into play. When they are home I have the freedom to hide from everyone for a minute.

Yes, it is true I take electronics into the bathroom and hide from my family. Did they trick me into admitting this? Probably. Am I going to regret admitting this? You bet. Is there anyone else out there like me? If you say no I will probably tell you to shut your little mouth because I know better. So that my friends is what I am doing in the bathroom.