The hardest job you will ever love

I hate to call parenting a job but I have been wracking my brain all day and I can’t think of another word so that’s that and a bag of chips. Anyway, in a previous post I said that Avery got a big girl bed. It is going okay but the other night was pretty rough. We went to bed around 8:00 and she finally fell asleep around 10:30. At about 10:40 she was up and on her way to our bed.ย  I intercepted her with one foot on the bed and we returned to her bed. At 3:00 a.m. I woke up I was still in Avery’s bed. Crap. Worst part about it was I woke up to Avery crawling over me to get out of her bed. Ugh. So we proceeded to the couch because at this point I was ready to try anything just to get some sleep. The couch didn’t work so I did what no parent should probably do according to the book of parenting. I put her in our bed. I know, I know it was wrong but I was soooo tired. I think I get one mommy point by leaving her in our bed alone until she fell asleep by herself. I did sneak in a couple of precious hours of snooze time on the couch. I am happy to report that the last two nights she has slept in her own bed and she also took a nap in there ๐Ÿ™‚ It was so nice to sleep without a toddler kicking and hitting me. I know I am probably jinxing myself by talking about how she slept in her bed but I will take the chance.

When I found out I was pregnant I never would have guessed how hard it was to be a parent. The lack of sleep, the dirty factor, the things they don’t tell you about parenting etc. But I also never would have guessed how rewarding it would be either. Avery is a little behind in the talking area so I have been scouring the internet trying to find tips on helping her to talk. I came across this wonderful blog that gives tips and things on how to help your toddler to talk. One of the tips was to do board puzzles. So this morning we sat down and did some puzzles. When Avery started speeding through the puzzles and putting them back together I was so happy and excited! Not only for me but for her! She was so happy every time she would put a piece in and we would clap and say yay. It was so cool to see her learning so fast and what was even better was that I taught her. I have never been much of a teacher and was a little scared about that aspect of parenting but I swear kids are like an open canvas waiting to learn. (She has been playing with her puzzles for a while now but we really never sat down and focused just on them.) I also never knew how much my heart would just fill up with love for this little person at 3:00 a.m. when she reaches over and grabs my hand.ย  (I have always been the type of person that needed 12 hours of sleep a night at leastย  so if I like you at 3:00 a.m. after an hour of sleep you are pretty special) Now the other night things got kinda hairy, I will admit but when she slept in until 9:30 this morning I missed her. There are times when I think ugh I need a break. But when I do get a break about an hour into it I miss her and usually want to go home. Even though I hate when she is sick, I love all of the extra cuddles โค Last week she was not feeling well and had a fever so I put one of her little frog princess washcloths on her forehead and she fell asleep like that. It was so cute I wanted to take a picture but I didn’t dare because I wanted her to sleep. Every time I think gosh I just can’t love this little person more she holds my hand, learns something new or hugs my legs and then I realize I will always be able to love her more.

It seems like you could be on a good parenting high like no other and then you take your kids out in public and they’re like bam gotcha! Like when you take your child out in public and they throw a massive fit and run around like they belong in a zoo. Or when you run into someone and their child is roughly the same age as your child and they have to go on and on about how their child is so much more advanced then yours. I hate that!! I try not to let it bug me but it always does. All three have happened to me lately and it makes me want to stay home and order all of our groceries online so I never have to leave the house again. But then I realize it’s all part of the “job” I have to say this is the best “job” I have ever had. (If any of my past co-workers woke me up in the middle of the night one of us wouldn’t have made it until morning.) It’s the only one where the “person” or “people” you are working for kiss, hug and look up to you. I think one of the best things about the “job” is when Avery needs something and I am the only person she wants. If she is crying I am the one she wants, if she wants to cuddle or is tired it is only me that can do the job right. I love that! Not that I want her to cry or be in need but I think you get the picture. With every job there are things that a person dislikes and things a person likes. I can honestly say that with this “job” the likes turn into loves and the dislikes are easily and soon forgotten ๐Ÿ™‚

Avery and her dolly โค She refused to fall asleep one night and then we came downstairs and she fell asleep on the floor with her dolly

O Sleep, Sleep! wherefore art thou Sleep?

For the past seven days Avery has not slept through the night. I take that back there was one night she did, I on the other hand could not. Last night I reached the point of no return; I left her in the bed and let her cry it out. I got 40 minutes of wonderful sleep on the couch. She finally fell asleep and slept until 8:30 a.m. I am not sure why she is not sleeping; she does not have a fever, ear ache, stomach ache, and she does not do illegal drugs that would keep her up all night. She does want to have an all night dance party and play with her toys though. I am starting to feel like she was brought here to make sure I never sleep again. Maybe I am just talking crazy because I am not getting the proper amount of sleep. I have consumed the largest amount of coffee ever in my life. I think if you cut me I would bleed coffee and it would smell like caramel vanilla creamer.

Usually I have a hard time letting her cry it out. I am the absolute worst worry wart you will ever meet in your life. Even though I was at the end of my rope this morning I still worried about the most absurd things. I convinced myself that she had smothered herself in a blanket, gotten a hold of something dangerous and hurt herself or she cried too much and couldn’t breathe. I worry as a hobby. So of course I did the thing you are not supposed to do and I opened the door to check on her. Of course she was almost asleep and when she saw me she started crying again. Ugh why am I so stupid!! Just for the record we do not keep dangerous things around Avery. I also worry that there is something really wrong with her. Last night I convinced myself that she had some weird incurable disease. I even got to the point of thinking maybe I should take her to the Doctor. Then sanity came and I thought what in the world am I going to say during the assessment; “She won’t sleep so she must have something very wrong with her” Then the Doctor would say go home you stupid woman I have a cardiac in room three.

I keep asking myself are the terrible twos here early? I am starting to think yes. Just yesterday she threw an absolute fit because I did not give her a cracker fast enough. Sometimes I think maybe she is just tired and that is why she is acting out then it’s like wake up dummy it’s not that. She is a toddler and she is testing the heck out of me. This is probably one of the scariest things I have encountered. I have heard the horror stories and seen them play out in the grocery store. I had my own yesterday. (Gosh yesterday was stressful with Avery) We were at the checkout and she refused to stay by me. Of course we were behind someone arguing about prices and blah, blah, blah. There was no other checkers coming to rescue me so we waited and waited. Then it happened she took off like a shotgun blast. Off to the liquor department she went. By the time I caught her she had a Margarita in a pouch and was going for some vodka. Of course that’s when you also run into one of the snottiest people you know as your peeling a margarita out of your toddler’s pudgy hands. “Isn’t she a little young to be drinking Autumn?” Seriously?!?! Yes I give my kid alcohol. It’s like trust me if I gave her alcohol I wouldn’t have bags under my eyes and I probably would have put jeans on instead of yoga pants because I would be getting way more sleep lady.

In conclusion I am trying to be optimistic about our sleeping future. Tonight it doesn’t look so bright but the night is young. Yes in my opinion my daughter is the cutest toddler ever. Even at 3:00 a.m. she is cute, by 4:30 things start to get a little hairy but we push through. I guess the only thing I can do is keep on keepin’ on and hope and pray that someday she will sleep. I know I shouldn’t complain but I think I am in some kind of sleepless haze. To all of you that are having sleepless nights I feel ya and hope it gets better for you too ๐Ÿ™‚ For those of you that slept eight hours last night please don’t tell me until my daughter is at least 16 ๐Ÿ˜‰