The day I wore jeans

Today started out most like any other morning. Got up in a sleep deprived haze because I fell asleep in my daughter’s bed (again) and went to closet to pick out clothes. But that’s when this day became different. I decided to wear jeans. I guess the secret is out; I wear comfy cotton pants pretty much everyday. Not because I am just plain lazy (maybe a little) but because I live with a toddler. I think when I do put on jeans a little alarm goes off in her head and it says “She just put the jeans on; it’s go time.”  See I only have two pairs of jeans. I am in the midst of my weight loss journey and my punishment to myself is that I am not allowed to buy new clothes until I get to a weight I feel more comfortable with. I did lose enough to fit into an old pair of jeans so that’s how I ended up with two pairs. I had to break down and buy one pair because I felt the need to have one on hand.

My jeans were unharmed for about three hours this morning which is pretty good for them. But then it all went downhill when Avery’s feet hit the floor. I went up to her room to get her and she was playing so nice after she got up that I decided to stay in there with her. I guess I was not doing exactly what she wanted because the tugging started. She wanted to show me something in her closet. After the tugging on my precious jeans she went to my shirt because that must be the natural order. We proceeded downstairs for an oatmeal breakfast. It was going well at first until Avery discovered that she had some oatmeal on her shirt. In the blink of an eye that oatmeal ended up on my pants. Not that oatmeal stains or anything but it has a certain look about it especially after it dries. Oatmeal closely resembles boogers when it is dry. Maybe not exact but definitely in the booger family. I once thought it would be safe to go out in public without checking myself over and when I came home I discovered oatmeal on my shirt that from far away looked boogerish.

Fast forward to snack time. I cut up some apples for us to share and for some reason I figured my jeans would come out unharmed. Apple slices were being eaten at a rapid pace and I was pleased to see Avery was eating so many. When the bowl was empty I got up to put it away when I realized why the apples were being downed so quickly. Apparently today Avery doesn’t like the skin of the apple so she ate the guts and left the skins and some other apple parts on the floor. Blurg. Of course this all happened on the dang maroon carpet. After wiping up the carnage I stood up and realized I had missed some and it was stuck to the knee of my jeans. Sticky, half-eaten apple parts all over my jeans!

An interesting fact regarding my jeans. I do not put them in the dryer like ever. Husband did once and he will never forget it. So when my jeans get washed it is a two-day process. They go in the washer for a nice cold water bath. Then they come out immediately and get hung up in a nice sunny spot to dry before they get put away with their other jean friends. So when they are both dirty we have a situation.

I should have learned my lesson from the last time I wore jeans on a day we were not going out and about. It was a day much like today. Everything was normal until Avery’s alarm went off alerting her that I was putting jeans on. We ate a lunch of peanut butter sandwiches that day. Since she is so picky sometimes we just share sandwiches. Anyway, Avery came running up to me and before I could stop her she wiped the palms of her hands all over my pants; then she turned those suckers around and wiped the backs off too. Did I mention they were full of peanut butter? Ugh. Oh and I can’t forget last week when she was fighting a little bug. Besides wearing her like a t-shirt I was also her human Kleenex. Isn’t it funny how she hates getting her nose wiped by an actual Kleenex but she enjoys wiping her nose on my clothes? I truly do feel bad for her when she is sick and her nose is running like a faucet. I just wish she would wait the one second for the Kleenex to do the wiping. Can’t forget the Popsicle; oh I could go for days.

Have I learned my lesson now? Probably not. After the washer is done humming with our bedding my jeans will go for a dip in their cold water bath and the comfy pants will slide on. Maybe we should have taken a hint from when Avery was little and would spit-up constantly. So much that sometimes we would have to change our clothes as well as hers. I wish I could find that alarm….


Back when we could strap Avery in and she couldn’t get to our clothes 😉

Adventures in shopping

Last night I got some time to myself. Four beautiful little hours so of course I went shopping. I have been wanting go get out and go shopping for a while now and last night my dream came true; literally I had a dream I was at Target.

So at about 5:30 I was off and in a great mood besides my sinus infection. I was doubly excited because I weighed myself (I have never in my life said that before) and I lost 20 pounds so far in my weight loss journey!!!!!!! The plan was to buy some jeans. I have a pair at home that I really like but they are too big so I thought this should be easy I will get the same brand just a smaller size. Oh was I wrong, so wrong. I get to the store and I sift through tons of jeans and I cannot find the brand I am looking for so I thought well, lets just grab some and start trying on in what I think should be my new size. In the dressing room I discovered I am not a new size. I was lucky I got the jeans over my hips so I thought to myself I better get a sales associate to help me. Now I am not sure if this lady likes to embarrass people or if she just wanted to get out of work on time because she managed to embarrass me to the fullest. There happened to be a lot of people in the store last night which I did not notice until this encounter happened. I started by asking her if they had this certain brand and the specific name of the jeans in question. When did they start naming jeans? Anyway I was looking for Jennifer jeans. She stated they never carried these jeans in their store and I should just try a different pair on. (Lies all lies)I think the name was Ellie. I told her I already tried Ellie on and Ellie didn’t fit. She said to me that I needed to go back in the dressing room try them on again and then sit on the bench because their jeans stretch and I don’t want to buy a larger size and if I sit on the magical bench they will stretch and fit better. I tried to explain to her that they just didn’t fit without having to tell her that I couldn’t even button the dang things but she wouldn’t have it so off to the dressing room I went with a new pair. In the dressing room it was the same story, there was a huge gap where my stomach was hanging out and as hard as I tried to stuff and adjust I couldn’t get those dang things buttoned. My plan was to get dressed and run out of the store so I didn’t have to see this lady again. Then there was a knock at the door “Autumn how do those jeans fit?” “Did you sit on the bench?” OMG this chick is driving me insane crazy. So I said back to her “They don’t button!” I cannot get them closed.” Silence, finally. I should have said “If you can get me another pair to sew together than yes they do fit.” This woman has obviously never been above her ideal weight before. And to use my name, the nerve!! (They make you give them your name and they write it on the door of your dressing room) Another embarrassing event in the books. I am hoping to have better luck online 😉