The food wars

Today I realized I am raising a scavenger. Another hard truth also surfaced; she is learning from the best… her mother. I never thought that I would ever hide food from a child until I had one.

I guess we can blame ourselves for some of this scavenger behavior. Avery is a very picky little girl so when she wanted something off of our plate we would give it to her so she would try new things. Of course like most things in parenting it backfired big time. Now everything of ours is fair game. She doesn’t even limit her scavenging to us she will take food out of anyone’s hands or off of their plate. I have had to explain to people that yes, we do feed her she just likes food better if it is on someone else’s plate.

The things I have said and done to be able to eat alone are pretty embarrassing. I am hoping I am not alone in the things I am about to tell you. I have snuck popsicles in my pocket and eaten them upstairs so I don’t have to share. I have eaten things that I really don’t like very much because I knew Avery didn’t like them. A couple of days ago I sliced myself up some summer sausage because in the past Avery refused to eat it so I thought I would be safe. Nope, she started stealing slices off of my plate and running away smiling and laughing like a mad woman. I am glad she ate some form of meat but what kid doesn’t like chicken nuggets but eats summer sausage. We once made Avery sit at the table and try a chicken nugget. She refused until we weren’t looking and she swiped two off of her brother’s plate. After that she is back to refusing. I have hidden food behind my back and the computer screen. One day I was caught eating by someone and they asked why I was in the closet eating. I replied “I don’t want to share this with Avery and you can’t make me!” Who is the toddler here?

It’s amazing to me how kids can hear a wrapper or the crinkling of a chip bag from miles away.  We have resorted to putting chips in a bowl even if she is napping. Trust me she will wake up for chips.The way Avery’s eyes light up when she sees a bag of chips is kinda scary. Now if only her eyes would light up when she saw a plate of meat and veggies we would really have it made. Avery loves most fruit so we are good there. Except grapes and those small orange things called “Cuties” By watching the commercial for “Cuties” I thought everyone loved them. Not my kid. She loves to lick them a little and then shove them in my mouth. Same with grapes. Except the grapes get dangerous because once she is done shoving grapes in her mother’s mouth she tries to put the vine in there. It is a little alarming to have a grape-vine coming at your eyes and mouth at warp speed. (You know I have that thing where I hate things by my eyes) It’s funny and cute when your toddler is “feeding” you until you have an eye patch

Am I the only parent hiding food from children? I really hope not. If Avery is the only scavenger in the world we are in trouble. If you are hiding from your children in closets eating let me know. If you eat openly in front of your children I suggest you come over to the dark side. It is so nice to be able to eat a whole snack alone.

Percy edited
The first beggar. Maybe he taught her…..
Avery edited
See how she is smiling?

The day I wore jeans

Today started out most like any other morning. Got up in a sleep deprived haze because I fell asleep in my daughter’s bed (again) and went to closet to pick out clothes. But that’s when this day became different. I decided to wear jeans. I guess the secret is out; I wear comfy cotton pants pretty much everyday. Not because I am just plain lazy (maybe a little) but because I live with a toddler. I think when I do put on jeans a little alarm goes off in her head and it says “She just put the jeans on; it’s go time.”  See I only have two pairs of jeans. I am in the midst of my weight loss journey and my punishment to myself is that I am not allowed to buy new clothes until I get to a weight I feel more comfortable with. I did lose enough to fit into an old pair of jeans so that’s how I ended up with two pairs. I had to break down and buy one pair because I felt the need to have one on hand.

My jeans were unharmed for about three hours this morning which is pretty good for them. But then it all went downhill when Avery’s feet hit the floor. I went up to her room to get her and she was playing so nice after she got up that I decided to stay in there with her. I guess I was not doing exactly what she wanted because the tugging started. She wanted to show me something in her closet. After the tugging on my precious jeans she went to my shirt because that must be the natural order. We proceeded downstairs for an oatmeal breakfast. It was going well at first until Avery discovered that she had some oatmeal on her shirt. In the blink of an eye that oatmeal ended up on my pants. Not that oatmeal stains or anything but it has a certain look about it especially after it dries. Oatmeal closely resembles boogers when it is dry. Maybe not exact but definitely in the booger family. I once thought it would be safe to go out in public without checking myself over and when I came home I discovered oatmeal on my shirt that from far away looked boogerish.

Fast forward to snack time. I cut up some apples for us to share and for some reason I figured my jeans would come out unharmed. Apple slices were being eaten at a rapid pace and I was pleased to see Avery was eating so many. When the bowl was empty I got up to put it away when I realized why the apples were being downed so quickly. Apparently today Avery doesn’t like the skin of the apple so she ate the guts and left the skins and some other apple parts on the floor. Blurg. Of course this all happened on the dang maroon carpet. After wiping up the carnage I stood up and realized I had missed some and it was stuck to the knee of my jeans. Sticky, half-eaten apple parts all over my jeans!

An interesting fact regarding my jeans. I do not put them in the dryer like ever. Husband did once and he will never forget it. So when my jeans get washed it is a two-day process. They go in the washer for a nice cold water bath. Then they come out immediately and get hung up in a nice sunny spot to dry before they get put away with their other jean friends. So when they are both dirty we have a situation.

I should have learned my lesson from the last time I wore jeans on a day we were not going out and about. It was a day much like today. Everything was normal until Avery’s alarm went off alerting her that I was putting jeans on. We ate a lunch of peanut butter sandwiches that day. Since she is so picky sometimes we just share sandwiches. Anyway, Avery came running up to me and before I could stop her she wiped the palms of her hands all over my pants; then she turned those suckers around and wiped the backs off too. Did I mention they were full of peanut butter? Ugh. Oh and I can’t forget last week when she was fighting a little bug. Besides wearing her like a t-shirt I was also her human Kleenex. Isn’t it funny how she hates getting her nose wiped by an actual Kleenex but she enjoys wiping her nose on my clothes? I truly do feel bad for her when she is sick and her nose is running like a faucet. I just wish she would wait the one second for the Kleenex to do the wiping. Can’t forget the Popsicle; oh I could go for days.

Have I learned my lesson now? Probably not. After the washer is done humming with our bedding my jeans will go for a dip in their cold water bath and the comfy pants will slide on. Maybe we should have taken a hint from when Avery was little and would spit-up constantly. So much that sometimes we would have to change our clothes as well as hers. I wish I could find that alarm….

 

SAM_0384
Back when we could strap Avery in and she couldn’t get to our clothes 😉