Cleaning out my closet

Sounds easy enough; clean closet and finish unpacking from when we moved here in September. I know it should have been done sooner but I have been putting it off. I have the biggest closet by far out of anyone so a lot of things get shoved in there. Last month husband was off and everyday I would tell myself I was going to do it. It is so much easier to do it when he is home so he can watch Avery while I clean. Avery loves to help but she makes more of a mess and I really wanted to get it done. Of course the month flew by with a dirty closet still on my mind. Now it’s a new month and husband is back to work and I am still thinking about that dang closet. So I decided today would be the day.

I kept telling myself that I was just to lazy to clean it before but when I walked into the closet the real reason was staring me in the face. The blue tote sat in the middle of the room needing to be put away. What is in the blue tote? My son’s belongings. After we had Mason and we weren’t able to bring him home it took me a long time to figure out what to do with all of his things. We had his molds of his feet and hands, footprints, pictures, cards and blankets. You name it we had it. Of course the big items would stay out for what we were hoping would be another baby. I left his clothes in his closet because I was 100% sure we would have another boy and it made me happy to think that Mason could pass down his clothes to his little brother. Lo and behold we had little Avery. Who would have thought that out of a family of all boys (my husband’s side) a little girl would finally come 🙂 I tried my hardest to put Avery in the neutral clothes I had but I couldn’t do it. They were meant for her brother that wasn’t here so I put them to the side.

I wanted a special place for all of our mementos of him and I couldn’t bear to put them in a tote pushed to the back of some closet. So the only logical place would be to put them in my hope chest which sat at the end of our bed. I was really happy about them going into the hope chest. The only problem is that we have moved three times since we had Mason. So his things have to be moved into totes to be transported. He has two totes filled with all of the things I kept of his including some clothes that I couldn’t bear to put on another baby or give away.

When we moved in I promptly unpacked the first tote. For some reason I couldn’t bear to unpack the second; so it got left until today. I am going to rewind a little. The past three nights have been rough with Avery. She just simply does not want to sleep. The first night we finally got her down at 12:30. The second night it was 10:00 and last night it was 11:30. Since she is not sleeping well that means mom isn’t’ either and Avery is a little bear all day because she needs her sleep. Last night I was at my wit’s end. I kept watching the clock tick by knowing I had to be up at 5:15. All I could think about was everything we had on our plate for today; laundry, toddler time, cleaning and a bath. I ended up taking her back downstairs while she cried it out after me getting very frustrated with her. Immediately after she fell asleep I felt bad about how upset I got with her. The guilt is still clinging on big time. Back to the tote. As I was putting Mason’s things away I started thinking about how nice it is to do so. Folding all of his little clothes and blankets. Making sure everything is arranged nicely so it fits in the hope chest. It made me have that great feeling that I long for; I was able to take care of him even though he is not here. Looking at his pictures and realizing all over again what a miracle and blessing he is. After years of infertility we finally won our lottery; we got our babies.

Feeling like I needed to go and squeeze Avery and tell her how much I love her I went into her bedroom where she was playing so nice with her books. Then I smelled it; yup she pooped. I laid her down to change her and it all hit me; the gas, the frequent stools, the not sleeping, the runny nose; she is getting more teeth. Ugh, I felt like such a jerk. I was so frustrated with her I didn’t even realize she was hurting. All she wanted to do was hold my hand and cuddle. All I wanted was some sleep.

All of these thoughts and feelings washed over me. All of the nights I prayed, wished and hoped for little clothes to fold. All of the nights I cried wanting a baby to cuddle and hold hands with. Now I have two and I let my lack of sleep frustrations and sadness take over me. Sometimes I forget how happy going through Mason’s things can make me. In those late night hours I forget how wonderful it is to have my little Avery to hold hands with.

Today Avery is getting smothered with love and I am going to pick a picture of Mason out to hang in our room. I will be happy to fold those little clothes and clean up the messes. This is what I prayed for, wished for and hoped for. I am happy to be cleaning out my closet.



Sunday, Sunday

I don’t know why but I have always had the Sunday blues. When I was in school it was because homework had to be done and I was gearing up for a new week. Then it was work and making sure housework was done. Even though I stay at home for now I still get the Sunday jitters. I always tell myself that I am not going to save everything for Sunday and I always do. Today it was laundry, dishes, vacuuming and cleaning Percy’s litter box. It seems like as hard as I try I always have tons of stuff to do on Sunday and it waits until Sunday night.  Instead of enjoying a nice supper I am running around making sure the clothes are washed and the house is tidy. I can only blame myself and the dang maroon carpet in the living room. (I have a huge list for the tax fairy this year; carpet included) It seems like I always get cranky too. I think it’s mostly because I am upset with myself for saving everything for Sunday again. Then the crank comes out on other people and then we have a situation.

Every Sunday I tell myself that I need to change. Well this Sunday for some reason put me over the edge. My plan of action for next Sunday is to get that laundry done in the morning and get supper in the crock-pot so then I only have to clean it up at night. As for the litter box it has to be done on Sunday since garbage goes out on Monday. (Not sure I am supposed to be putting my litter in the garbage?) Do you ever get anxious or cranky on Sunday? Or maybe you are a lucky and organized and Sunday is a walk in the park. If you are one of those people you must share your secret so I can copy you 😉

This is what Sunday should be all about 🙂

No Nap: Day 2

Not to brag or anything but Avery is usually a great napper. I know what happens when I get to braggin’ about my kid; karma swoops in and shows me whose boss. It happened again folks. We are on day 2 of a napping hiatus and it has me very worried. I can honestly count on both hands the times she hasn’t taken a nap. See sometimes I may take a nap I mean do housework when Avery is napping. I am not prepared for these days to end.

It all started yesterday when we had Christmas on husband’s side of the family. By the time we left to go home it was probably 3:30. Since we have been living in a fog (literally) since Thursday it took longer than usual to get home. A fifteen minute drive stretched into about a half hour. Of course Avery fell asleep in the car which I really didn’t want her to because it was getting a little to late for a nap. When we got home she was up and not happy about it. But I made her stay up until bedtime because the consequences of a late nap are worse than no nap at all. Since I knew I wasn’t going to be napping I mean getting work done I figured she might as well be up. I actually did and still do have a lot of housework to do because I have been on some sort of strike lately.

Today I decided that when Avery was napping I was going to tackle the majority of my housework. Well she decided it for me because there was no way she was going to let me clean. So I pushed my lunch back so I could get her down early with enough time to eat, clean and maybe blog a little. Even though today is perfect napping weather. It is so dreary and has been for days. Up to bed we went except my plan failed miserably. She refused to nap. Ugh! I swear she knows when I have plans to do something!

I never thought that Avery not napping could strike so much fear with me. I guess I got really used to our afternoon naps I mean “quiet” time. If there was a game show called Best Napper we would definitely be coming home with a lifetime supply of something. Especially Avery. The girl is not good at sleeping at night but if it’s after noon give that girl a pillow cause she’s going down. So now I sit at the computer jealous of my cat because he is curled up sleeping in my bed while I get to listen to the ABC Song on Avery’s new school bus magnet for the 100th time since yesterday. I did treat myself to a Sprite so that helps. I have to wonder “Am I the only parent that depends on their kid or kids napping everyday?” I really thought this nap thing would carry out for at least another year or so. Avery was a little over a year old when she quit napping twice a day. Now that was the cat’s meow let me tell ya. One nap for chores then another nap for relaxation; I mean more chores.

How old were you’re kids when they stopped napping? Did it ruin your life? Feel free to comment because I need to know if my napping days are over so I can appropriately mourn them 🙂

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This is obviously not from today but I do remember it was a no-nap kinda day.

You are not going to win chores, not today

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Fur trap!!
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My cutie waiting to play ❤ Notice the maroon carpet
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Dining room flooring. It looked like a good idea at the time.

Since we have moved into a much larger home than we have had previously I find myself cleaning all of the time. I face a couple new obstacles in my new cleaning adventure. The two biggest obstacles are my daughter and my cat. They are the messiest people I have ever met. (Yes my cat is human) I have come to the conclusion that cleaning with a toddler and a cat is like cleaning a desk full of papers with a fan on. For example the other day I swept, swiffered and moped our dining room. About ten minutes later my cat puked and my toddler spilled milk all over. Ugh! Now the milk wouldn’t be such a problem except we have really dark flooring in our dining room and milk seems to show up even after it is cleaned. And the cat puke, well its gross. I am not sure what I was thinking when I picked out the flooring. It. shows. everything. I think my cat is mulching or something because I have never had to deal with so much fur in my life and my poor floor is suffering. Now it is a dark brown with a hint of orange fur.

In our living room some idiot installed maroon carpet. (It wasn’t me) Why in the world would you do that?? It shows everything and then some. If Avery eats one cracker you know it. If I leave the house when I come back I know everything my daughter and husband ate just by the crumbs on the floor. I vacuum at least once a day if not twice. Between the fur and the crumbs I am almost ready to rip the stupid carpet out myself. I had big plans for what little tax return I would be getting. Now those have disappeared because I have set my sights on one huge maroon eyesore that needs to go far far away.

The other day my bestie stopped over and we were talking about cleaning and how much we didn’t want to do it. She works full-time and I know how hard it is to keep a house clean while working. Our convo brought me back to when I did work full-time and how much my “week-ends” sucked. I put “week-ends” in quotations because it never really felt like I had any time off. Between grocery shopping and cleaning it seemed like I never left work. Then I started thinking about my life now. Here I am blessed with this wonderful little girl that I get to spend every day with and I waste most of my time cleaning. She doesn’t care if every nook and cranny of the house is clean or the laundry is done. All she cares about is her toys and her cartoons are available. I almost feel guilty that almost every morning is dedicated to dishes, laundry and other chores. It should be dedicated to spending time with my little girl who is growing up way too fast. Before I know it I will be back to work and my “week-ends” are going to stink again and I will be wishing I would have spent more time with my little when I was at home with her. So today the chores are not going to win. I am going to play, dance and repeat.

Ugh just turn the t.v. on

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Chalkboard that I had to do freestyle because the stencils fell through for me 😉

I never in a million years thought I would be the type of parent that would let my kid watch t.v. Then I had kids and everything changed. Tonight we were hanging pictures up in our daughters room and she wouldn’t behave. She has been a little stinker all day not to mention she slept like five hours last night and the night before and the night before that. I had gotten her a chalkboard butterfly to put on her door and I was trying with my trusty stencils to put her name on it then it happened. She would not stop; pulling chalk off of the table, climbing on the chair that I was sitting on and pretty much anything else she could do to get my attention. Side note on the stencils; chalk and stencils do not mix. Finally the t.v. babysitter saved me. The Bubble Guppies were on and peace was restored.

I am not against t.v. at all. I have a great appreciation and love for my television and that love runs deep. When I got pregnant I had always pictured me reading books and playing with my kids all of the time. I guess I forgot about the part that included laundry, cleaning and going to the bathroom. You know they never tell you that once you have children you will never go to the bathroom alone again. If I would have known that I would have definitely appreciated my bathroom time more.

I was one of those girls that people with kids laughed at behind my back. I had all of these ideas like my kids were never going to sleep with me, they would never watch t.v. and they would always eat everything on their plate. I probably thought they would never get dirty either. Gosh I was dumb. Now I have learned and all of those things I said I would never let happen, happened and continue to this day. If I met the girl that I used to be I would probably slap her and her little ideas.

Back to the television; you are probably picturing my daughter in front of the t.v. all day while I go about my day. Not true. I am not a Real Housewife of (insert county here) I have become a little more aware of the cleanliness of my home since I started staying home. Maybe because I have to look at my house all day now instead of spending most of time at work. I do have daily chores and then I add some things everyday if time allows. During those chores there is time for dancing, singing and playing. I usually have a little toddler following me and hugging my legs through most of it. There are some precious moments where she actually does pay attention to the t.v. and I can get a little something done toddler free.

All in all things get done and my floors get clean. Now the floors may be clean but there are a layer of toys on top of them. I guess it’s getting down to crunch time since the big Birthday party is coming so I am getting a little frazzled. Normally I would have rooms that are kind of off-limits to guests (Like that closet I shove all kinds of crap into when people come over.) But since we just moved into this house I know people are going to want to take a peek and see the work we have been doing. Which is fine but now I don’t have any secret hiding spots for my crap.  I know most people don’t see that spider web in the corner behind the desk but I know it is there. I guess if someone came over and inspected my house that closely I would probably have to ask them to leave.

I guess t.v. really isn’t that bad for kids as long as it’s not all they do. Avery has actually learned some things and she loves dancing and music now. I think it is because of the Bubble Guppies and the fact that I listen to music a lot.  Some of the cartoons are really cute and entertaining the first couple of times you watch them. After the 500th time they do start to wear on a person. Now it’s back to cleaning and getting hugged while I am doing it 🙂