First off I have to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read, shared, commented and messaged me about my last post. I have had the most views I have ever had yesterday and I was pretty dang close to having a record-setting day on Sunday!! So awesome to see all of the views, comments and shares 🙂 I am going through my emails and notifications as we speak so I am hoping I don’t miss anyone. It was an awesome pick me up on a scan day to see my views soaring. Speaking of my scan I passed with an A+ according to my Doctor 😉 It was awesome news to hear but we had to say goodbye to my Oncologist because she is leaving 😦 She did promise me that my next Oncologist would be as smart and nice as she is so that made me feel better. Another positive on scan day; I saw the absolute neatest thing at the clinic I go to. When we walked in we noticed some nurses and Doctors gathered by the door and we both wondered what was going on. After we checked in and sat in the waiting room I noticed an elderly couple walking from the chemo area into the waiting room. Once they got closer to the staff that had gathered by the door everyone started clapping and cheering for them. Then the gentlemen rang a bell because he had just finished his last chemo!! It was really awesome to see that! Oh did I mention the couple was holding hands? Super cute ❤ Since this is only my second scan at this clinic and I didn’t receive my chemo there we had never seen this before. When I finished my last chemo I received a bottle of sparkling grape juice and a little basket full of info about life after treatment. Some of the nurses that I had stopped to see me before I left. Actually the first nurse to administer my chemo gave me my grape juice and told me she asked to be the one to give it to me because she was so proud of me that I finished my chemo 🙂 All of the nurses really made my last day of chemo a pretty awesome day 🙂 All of the positive thoughts and words were and still are greatly appreciated! It is truly wonderful to see and experience medical staff that truly care about their patients. Thank you to all of you for doing what you do!
You are probably wondering what in the world my negative is. Well, on Sunday we learned that someone decided to go on a shopping spree on us at Wal-Mart in a different state. Blurg. I found out something was a miss at the worst place possible. I was innocently swiping my card at the grocery store and it wouldn’t work. So I had to write out; wait for it…. a check! You know those pre-historic things you have lying around that no one uses anymore? Except for me at the grocery store on an extremely busy Sunday. Somehow these little nerds living in their parents basements have learned how to steal your numbers and put them on another card to be swiped at any destination of their choice. Well, nerds I hope you get scratched by your fake cards and your mom quits cutting the crust off of your sandwiches! It sounds like we will be getting our funds back it will just take a little time. Luckily my card was flagged so these nerds only got two purchases on us. Oh and I filed a police report so watch out nerds I am coming and I love watching mystery shows. Not the fake ones either but real life so I know what I am doing 😉 Sorry for the use of the word “nerd” but I figured the other words I was using for them were not appropriate for a blog. So in-between lab work, my scan and my appointment I got to make a whole bunch of phone calls. Nerds…. I did get a little time to pick up a super cute Super-Woman t-shirt for Avery. But instead of being an adult super-woman she is toddler sized which makes the shirt even cuter.
One more negative is that Avery and I are in the midst of allergies. So we are both wearing a new perfume called Vicks vapo-rub and our world is very foggy. So if this post doesn’t make sense you can thank Mucinex. I think I am the only person in the world that cannot handle taking allergy or cold meds. The only time I took Claritin I swear I had an out-of-body experience. I did find an allergy med that I can handle taking but I needed reinforcements this time (insert Mucinex and a truckload of Kleenex)
Back to positive. I was thinking for like a week that maybe I needed a small break from y house so even though scan day was coming I was excited to get out of the house. Well that feeling lasted for about an hour because once we got to the clinic I saw a little girl who looked just like Avery and it made me miss her terribly. I guess she missed me too because she has been clinging to me ever since I got home yesterday. As far as she knows I was only gone for 5 1/2 hours because she slept until 8:00 a.m. yesterday but I guess that was long enough for her. I take it Percy missed me too because he has also been by my side since I got home. My last positive is that my labs and scan were clear so I was able to wake up this morning and enjoy a very pretty sunrise. I will post a pic and if you look really close you can see the moon. Again thank you all so much for reading and the awesome messages and comments!!
When we got married almost seven long years ago we of course included those words into our vows. “For better or for worse” “In sickness and in health.” When I said those words I never in a million years thought we would endure more sickness than health and so many hard times. In our marriage so far we have endured infertility, loss and cancer. Usually people endure maybe one or two in their lifetime. We got hit with all three. I feel like we were so naïve when we got married to think we would be able to have kids with the snap of our fingers and just have a “normal” life together. (They never tell you in your pre-marriage classes that really bad things can and will happen)
Most of the time I just go with it. This is our life and we deal with it. But then there are those times where it gets pointed out to me how many things we have been through together. One person said to me “If you guys can make it through everything you have been through together; you can make it through anything.” At first I thought “I can’t even imagine what else could happen.” Then I remembered something can always happen.
When we first got married I never dreamed that my husband would be the one to shave my head when I got cancer. I never in a million years imagined we would have to do some of the things we did when we were trying to have a baby. Between testing and procedures we were willing to do anything to have a baby. I never thought we would have to bury our son together.
From the crankiness on my end from fertility meds to staying by my side in the hospital for two weeks while I was on bed rest. When we lost our son we said we would never do things that we didn’t feel comfortable with. What I mean by that is we always make decisions about him or his things together and if one of us doesn’t feel comfortable we don’t do it. We have stuck with it and it seems to work for us. When I found out I had cancer and our daughter was going to be coming two months early we worked it out and dealt with it together.
I think some of the trick to this whole marriage thing and really life in general is you must have a little humor. Even though there was nothing humorous about the things we have been through some how we always found ways to laugh. Sometimes you just have to step back and let the other person freak out. I had many freak outs while I was going through chemo and dealing with our insurance and billing departments. I am surprised someone didn’t rip the phone out of my hand or the people on the other line didn’t hang up. For the most part husband let me have my freak out and then I would be over it. Not that we have mastered marriage by any means but we have learned a lot about each other and how to deal with each other. I dare you to not learn new and sometimes alarming things about someone when you are locked in a small hospital room for two weeks together. Lastly for the love of God talk to each other. I am not saying you have to have a huge therapy session every week but you need to talk a little. I am not one for talking about my feelings but you kind of have to a little.
From now on I am hoping we have more better than worse and more health than sickness. I know firsthand that isn’t always possible. But now I know we can get through it together.
“Life aint always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride.” ~Gary Allan
I am the type of person that needs a reminder for everything. Even though I have a date book I still write myself a note the day before an appointment or I keep my appointment card. I have to write a list for the grocery store or any shopping for that matter. Sometimes I even write myself a to-do list for the next day. One thing I never thought I would have to be reminded of was why I wanted to become a mother.
After infertility struggles and losing our son I never in a million years dreamed of how many times parenting can be so frustrating. I guess I was so naïve to think I would be living in this dream world where my baby/toddler would be perfect and always behave. I would get plenty of sleep and have tons of patience. Then came my Avery and she tests my limits quite a bit. Oh and she doesn’t sleep much either. It seems like every time I am at the end of my rope I get a reminder of how lucky I am to be able to have a baby and bring her home.
My first big reminder that I can remember was when we first brought Avery home from the NICU. I was going through my second round of chemo and I was exhausted and feeling like I was hit by a bus. Maybe it was the chemo or the hormones but I was a wreck. I was sobbing and just pleading for some sleep and relief from feeling sick all of the time. Once I got Avery to lay down I was so ready for a short nap before her next feeding. I was flipping through the guide looking for something to watch until I fell asleep when a show caught my eye. It was about a famous couple that had gone through infertility struggles and was finally able to have a baby of their own via surrogate. The episode that was on was the one where they had the baby. Before the episode was over I found myself running to Avery’s bassinet to pick her up and hold her. Watching the flashbacks of their infertility struggle and the joy of finally having their own baby gave me a huge reminder. I fought so hard to have my little gal and now all I could do was feel sorry for myself. Of course there was a lot of cuddling after that and more tears. But this time it was happy tears and I was reminded how lucky I was to have my own miracle to snuggle and love.
Today I had another reminder. I have an impending scan looming in my future which always makes me a ball of nerves. The closer the scan gets the more my patience wears thin. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I forget that I had cancer. I guess I should say I don’t forget but it gets pushed to the side until a scan comes. We have had a couple long nights due to Avery’s molars coming in and me being up all night thinking about all of the types of cancer I could have. So when we got an invite to go and play outside with a friend I gladly accepted. I knew Avery wasn’t feeling the best but I thought maybe getting outside would be good for both of us. Of course my little spitfire proved me wrong. She threw a fit in the restaurant and was really testing what little patience I have left. Of course she was elated to go and play on the toys but once we got home again it was back to the cranky toddler business. After an interesting bath followed by more toddler behavior we moved to the living room. For some reason I decided to check my appointment letter because I keep getting the times messed up. The second I picked my letter up Avery started screaming on the couch. When I looked over she had her hands shoved in her mouth and she was saying “Mom!” Oh I felt so bad for her. She was in tons of pain because of her teeth. I kept looking at the letter and then at her . That’s when the reminder came. I could have not been here to take care of her when she needs me. I could have gotten cancer before I became pregnant with her and would not have been able to have her.
I am sure there will be more hard days but I welcome the reminders. Even though we have struggles a smile from my little miracle can make those struggles fade away. Sometimes I just need a reminder.
This morning I awoke way earlier than I had been planning too. When I looked at the clock it said 6:15. Dang I was hoping to sleep in until at least 7:00 but alas I was awake so I decided to make the most of this unplanned early morning. A trip to the grocery store was looming and after I had enough coffee to give me the shakes I was off.
I usually avoid the grocery store on Saturday and Sunday mornings because it is so dang busy. the new ad always comes out on Saturday and everyone is raring to go and get the new sale merchandise. But unfortunately the grocery store played a sneaky trick on me. They were running a special two-day sale that started on Saturday. Well played grocery store, well-played. The last time I went to the store in the morning some of the employees asked me what I was doing there so early. The reason behind my early bird trip was because I ran out of creamer for my coffee. They understood.
I thought I was well prepared for all of the chaos at the grocery store. I had my list all ready to go with the correct prices written next to the sale items and how many you could get for the sale price. I know I am weird but I have been fooled too many times by tags that were worded funny and people literally hitting me with their cart so I was hurried and didn’t purchase the right items. I had a slight sinus headache when I left and when I pulled into the parking lot it turned into a pounding monster. Cars everywhere and people acting like they had never been in public before and walked in a cross walk before. I don’t understand what it is about the grocery store or department stores for that matter that make people lose their manners. Who stands in the cross walk gabbing when cars are waiting to go through? Once in the store the crap storm reached an all time high. People were literally hitting people with their carts and everyone wanted to browse even though they had a line of people behind them. While I was at the checkout someone tried to squeeze their cart in between mine and a display of water. They barely fit through and I thought for sure I would get knocked out by falling bottles of water. I mean seriously is this how I am going to go? Death by water bottle while trying to get some hot deals at the grocery store? Jeez.
I know I am being dramatic but what else am I going to do with my little life? I feel like when you get to the store you should get a name tag explaining your situation. Kinda like the gym t-shirt thing I talked about before. My name tag today would have said. “Got up way earlier than planned.” “Has sinus headache, is on a diet and a budget.” Am I on a strict diet? Heck no! Well, not strict enough to stop me from buying those Red Velvet flavored Oreos. In my defense they are a limited edition. Maybe there should also be little checkpoints at the store too. Where you can scan your list to make sure you have gotten what is on it so you don’t forget things. Or it could help you stick to healthy eating by saying “Bitch please; those cookies are not part of your diet.” Okay maybe the last one isn’t a good idea. Also a small tape measure in every cart would be nice. So when the silly person that tries to wedge between you or your cart; you can pull that sucker out and be like “Nope sorry.” “You can back yourself up.”
Even though going to the grocery store was awful today I did have some good things happen. I made friends with an elderly gentleman in the parking lot when he complimented me on how clean my car was. I also had two funny little boys listing off all of my items while they were on the conveyor belt. It was super cute 🙂 Oh and I did get those hot deals. I am now the proud owner of 23 cans of cream of mushroom soup. Laugh now but I can guarantee you it won’t be funny when it’s summer and you have to pay $1.79 for it instead of a $1.00. Meanwhile I will be making awesome recipes with all of my cream soup 😉
If any grocery store owners read this or people in upper management seriously think about my suggestions. I think they are very well thought out and maybe even trendsetting.
Ahhh it’s World Book Day. I don’t know about you but I absolutely love books! (Pretty obvious huh?) Even though I don’t get the chance to read very much anymore I still want to celebrate this very important day 🙂 I am actually diving into a new book; so exciting! I love getting a new book and I even love the smell of them. I know I am weird but I really do love the smell of books. I don’t think I could ever read off of an electronic device. There is just something about a book that makes me happy. I tried reading an intro to a book on my iPod and I hated it. I didn’t hate the book I just didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t holding the actual book.
I have always thought that it is very important for kids to be introduced to books at a young age. That is until I had my own. The first time Avery ripped a book apart I wanted to cry. But I learned to look past the ripping and buy inexpensive books 😉 She still at times rips books up but I love the fact that she loves to look at books. The only time we can really get her to settle down and read to her is at bedtime but I bet at least five times a day she picks up a book and pages through it. I loved going to the library when I was a kid and I would check out as many books as I could. I am hoping Avery loves it as much as I did and still do ❤ I had the best Librarian in the whole world when I was little. Her name was Ms. Pat and she always let me go in the back of the Library where they stored extra copies of books and kept the new ones when they came in.
So on this our nations day of celebration for books tell me what your favorite book or books are. I know it is hard to pick just one so I totally understand if you have a couple 😉 What are your child or children’s favorite books? Do you have any favorite memories from going to your local Library as a kid or a favorite book from your childhood?
Here we are March 3 and it is still snowing and cold in Wisco. Ugh. Here I am wishing I could go to a warmer climate. Don’t get me wrong I really do like experiencing all four seasons and I honestly think that if I moved somewhere warmer I would so miss the fall and winter season. I am not very good at dealing with heat and humidity either. Check back with me in late July or early August I am sure I will be complaining about the weather. That is the beauty of Wisco we get to complain about the weather all we want because the weather is constantly changing and ruining our plans. There is nothing more heart wrenching than when you have a perfect shopping day planned and you wake up to freezing rain that turns into six inches of snow 😦 Shopping plans canceled insert online shopping/browsing.
Anyway enough about the weather and back to the title of this post. My definition of a staycation: A vacation one takes when one does not have the financial means to go on a real vacation or a babysitter. Of course after the tax fairy sprinkled her green pixy dust it was very tempting to say “Let’s go and do something!!” Instead our furnace said “I am going to break!” “Ha ha fools!!” Now we sit in a warm house (finally!) with nothing to do but stare at each other (boring!). Since we have been staring at each other since October I was thinking we should mix it up a little. I decided we deserved to have something fun so I went on Amazon and ordered a couple dvd’s and a book for myself. I thought that should be good enough until yesterday. My mother stopped over yesterday and we decided to order some Chinese food for lunch. After some wonderful food I opened my fortune cookie. I guess the cookie could read my mind because it said “You need a new environment.” “Go on vacation.” Wow fortune cookies get me. If only fortune cookies offered free vacations to tropical places.
Today after I came down from my fortune cookie high I decided to take my staycation. My staycation will involve my new book and playing with Avery. I finally broke down and got her a toy we have had our eye on. It’s the Leap Frog Mobile Med Kit. It is super cute and I think we will have lots of fun. If only it came with a blood pressure cuff because I would love to know what mine is when Avery gets behind the couch and calls people with my phone. Yes readers I have to hide my phone so she doesn’t call people. We have left messages of me yelling at her and her pushing buttons. Sometimes she actually gets ahold of someone but all they hear are buttons being pushed and heavy breathing. But I digress.
Since I am not a good traveler it is probably a good thing I stay home. I have mentioned before that I watch way to many murder-mystery shows which leave a huge impact on my imagination. I have flown once and went to San Diego with two of my best girlfriends. While we were innocently waiting for the trolley to take us back to our hotel from the Gaslight District someone who I am sure was going to kidnap us asked if we were going to Tijuana because there have been a lot of murders there lately. I wanted to say “Really Tijuana; I thought that was a family friendly place?” Thank God the trolley came and whisked us away from a certain death. I am so much safer in the comfort of my own home with an abundance of murder-mystery shows, books and movies.
What type of person are you? Do you prefer a staycation or a vacation?
Don’t worry this post does not describe any disgusting bathroom stories. But I am going to talk about the bathroom and if that makes you queasy maybe move along to another post or come back tomorrow 😉
I am going to make an admission here that I have not made to anyone except close friends and confidants. I am not always going to the bathroom when I am in the bathroom. Sometimes a girl just needs some alone time and the confines of the bathroom is the only place I seem to get it some days. Sure there are the occasional times I get alone time in the morning when everyone else is sleeping or at night when everyone else is sleeping. See the trend here? I like sleep and the only time I get alone time is when everyone else is and I would like to join them. So the only place I am left with is the bathroom.
I get asked at least once or twice a week what I am doing in the bathroom. I never wanted to admit what I was doing in there because then the jig would be up. But I really have no choice because they won’t leave me alone. Whether it’s knocking on the door or talking about my bathroom time. This afternoon we had to have a half-hour long discussion on what I do in the bathroom. Husband brought it up (he may be tricking me here which he loves to do) but he always alludes to the fact that I have potty problems. Maybe I do but it’s really none of his business. Today he asked again “What do you do in there?” I of course replied with “None of your business; why do you keep asking?” He replied with “Sometimes I worry that something happened to you in there because you are gone for so long.” Just a little dramatic. I said something to the effect of “Just leave me alone unless you hear a thud in there; then come because something is wrong.” I got an eye roll. Then he says “You really want me to leave you alone unless you fall on the ground?” “Yup that’s what I said.”
With the invention of the smart phone and iPod it makes it very easy to spend countless minutes passing time away in the bathroom. Of course magazines and newspapers work too but they are so bulky. Smartphones and iPods can be hidden very easily. Plus it is really hard to go on Pinterest when all I have is a newspaper. I know you are wondering “How in the world does she go to the bathroom without a child getting to her?” The answer is this-baby gate. Ah yes the baby gate for now keeps her out of the upstairs bathroom. Of course this only works when someone is downstairs to keep an eye on her. that is where husband and/or step-son come into play. When they are home I have the freedom to hide from everyone for a minute.
Yes, it is true I take electronics into the bathroom and hide from my family. Did they trick me into admitting this? Probably. Am I going to regret admitting this? You bet. Is there anyone else out there like me? If you say no I will probably tell you to shut your little mouth because I know better. So that my friends is what I am doing in the bathroom.
Oh my gosh I received another award!! So awesome 🙂 You would think that third time would be a charm and I would have that dress but unfortunately no I do not. I would like to thank Tiny Expats for the award! Definitely go and check her out! She has a very awesome and unique blog. Oh and she is from the Ukraine so she is doubly awesome!!
Just a little background on these awards. Of course it is an honor to be nominated first and foremost. To me it means someone really thinks you are doing a great job. The second factor is that your readers get to know you a little more by answering the questions you are given. I always enjoy answering the questions 🙂 The third factor is the exposure. Not only for your own blog but for the blog that nominated you and the blogs that you nominate. Whether we know it or not we have touched someone’s life somehow. It may be to relate to others through our own experiences or droppin’ a little knowledge 🙂 I have found so many great blogs through posts just like mine about awards.
On to the burning questions that I am happy to answer:
Who is the person that inspired you the most? Why? I am going to steal from Tiny Expats and go with my grandparents on this one. Both sets of my grandparents were farmers. They worked very hard for what they had and were always there for all of their grandchildren. I was very young when my both of my grandfather’s passed away so I don’t remember too much about them. I was lucky enough to have both of my grandmother’s into my early twenties. Both of them showed me what unconditional love means ❤
Where do you source your inspiration from whether it be in life or writing? A lot of my inspiration comes from my own life experiences. For some reason working out (especially hiking) inspires me to write. Double positive inspiration and wellness 🙂
If you could be any animal, what would it be and why? Do I even have to answer? Of course a cat. What a great life. They sleep 22 hours a day (at least mine does) Food is always aplenty and their toilets are always cleaned for them 😉
Where is the place you feel the most content and what is it about this place that inspires that feeling? I would have to say at home or with family and friends. I have always felt most comfortable at home or with people I enjoy being with. Having visitors at our home is the best!
What is your favorite color and how does it inspire you? This one is always hard for me. I would say black for clothes because I am always trying to give the illusion I am smaller than I really am. I am really into decorating with grey and white right now. I do decorate a lot with black too. Since I am still able to pick out Avery’s decorations we use a lot of lavender and white for her room.
If you could keep only five possessions what would they be? Gah! This one is hard as well. First would be Mason’s things. His pictures, hand and footprints and the molds of his hands. Then it would be my china hutch that my dad built for my Grandma. Third would be the butter dish that my Grandma gave my parents for their wedding. Fourth would be Avery’s baby book. Last but not least my rings. I only have two; my mother’s ring and my engagement ring and wedding band. I know technically that is more than five but I am cheating and grouping them into categories 😉
What is your favorite memory and how has it inspired who you are today? Oh my there are so many! If I had to pick one it would be when I found out I was pregnant with Mason. It reminds me to never give up and keep pursuing my dreams. He gave our family so much hope and love even though we only had him for a short time ❤ I can honestly say that I remember the exact feeling when I heard those words “Autumn, you are pregnant.” Mason inspires me everyday to be a better person and enjoy life 🙂
Name the food that makes you the happiest and why? Well, lately I would have to say coffee. It makes me happy because it keeps me awake. But I have to give a shout out to my lifelong friend Sprite 😀
What is the last book that you read and how did it make you feel? I wish I could say I have read another book since the last time I answered this question but I have not. So I have to go with my old standby which is BossyPants by Tina Fey. Of course it was hilarious and put me in a great mood!
What do you see yourself doing 10 years from now? Oh jeez! I guess if I took a gander in my crystal ball I would have to say blogging. I have never enjoyed something so much besides becoming a mother. In a perfect world I would be blogging and taking care of my family 🙂
Alright done with Q&A section of this post. On to the cheating portion. Yup I am going to cheat. Since I am such a newbie to the blogging world I am going to nominate as many blogs as I can think of. (I am to nominate seven; but I don’t think I will come up with that many.)
Done with the cheating portion; on to the questions. Sorry I couldn’t come up with more 😦 If I do (which I am sure I will) come across more awesome blogs I will add them and re-post 🙂
10 burning questions for the nominees:
If you had the opportunity to donate what or who would you donate to and why?
What is your favorite season and why?
Who is your favorite author?
Early bird or night owl?
Describe your perfect day from start to finish
What is your dream job?
What is your favorite thing about blogging?
Warm or cold climate?
Here are the rules for the nominees:
– Thank the blogger who nominated you, linking back to their site.
– Put the award logo on your blog.
– Answer the ten questions sent to you.
– Make up ten new questions for your nominees to answer.
– Nominate seven blogs.
I would like to thank tiny expats again for the award and I can’t wait for the nominees to answer their questions. If you have a chance stop over and check the nominees out. You won’t be disappointed 🙂 Thank you all for reading!! Without you I would never have a chance for an award 🙂
A couple of months back I spotted an article that was pretty much dissing The One Spot at Target. It was like a knife through my little heart for lack of a better phrase. I love The One Spot. It is a wonderful spot in Target that is strategically placed in front of a set of doors to welcome you when you walk in with its cute merchandise and low prices. Sometimes when the Gods shine down you can spot an extra savings on your Cartwheel app and save even more! Most items are of course $1.00 but there are also items for $3.00 and $5.00.
In the article I spotted things like “Filled with items you don’t really need.” or “Cheaply made products.” Oh my! I couldn’t disagree more. I have purchased many things that I need and they are definitely not cheaply made. I have always made it clear that I am obsessed in love with Target but The One Spot is my absolute fave!
From time to time I have some little’s that join our craziness when they have off from school. I always hit up The One Spot before they come because they have tons of cute craft items and inexpensive coloring books. For example around Christmas time I purchased foam trees and ornaments to decorate with cute foam stickers. The little’s loved them and so did I! When I made that wonderful trip I also picked up some nice bags to put Christmas presents in. No ladies and gents they were not your typical Christmas bags. They were Frozen and Transformers reusable bags; cool, cute and functional. Needless to say our gifts were a hit! On a recent Target trip I picked up some awesome Leap Frog flashcards and learning books for Avery. Some of them are for future use and some for now. I have found countless other awesome items at The One Spot that I still use today 🙂
I can honestly say that none of the items I have purchased are cheaply made and trust me I needed all of them 🙂 Since my little heart was crushed when I saw that article I knew I had to do something. That is where this post comes from. Not that I am retaliating I just felt that the general public deserved to know how wonderful The One Spot is 🙂