Why did this happen to us?

The million dollar question that is always asked after something bad happens. It is so hard to understand why bad things happen and I truly believe you never fully understand. I know for myself that I will never fully understand why my son went to Heaven instead of staying with us. It was the question I asked over and over again to myself and others. It just didn’t seem fair.

After two years of infertility we had a huge surprise; we were pregnant. It was a whirlwind pregnancy since I was farther along than anyone expected me to be (including myself). Between bed rest at home and in the hospital due to a placenta previa and getting ready for our bundle we were very busy. We were so happy and excited to welcome our baby boy! I never in a million years dreamed that he would be born sleeping. I mean I did everything right. I was in the hospital twice and on bed rest at home for a week to protect him. I was on light duty at work and I never worked alone in case I would start bleeding. We stayed home, skipped weddings and other events just in case I would start bleeding or go into labor. The last hospital stay was for two weeks. Two weeks on hospital bed rest can drive a person bat crap crazy but I was more than willing to do it to protect my baby.

Then it happened that morning where there was no heartbeat. I just didn’t get it. I remember saying over and over “I don’t understand.” “We did everything we were supposed to do.” Everything happened so fast from the nurse coming in and then the Doctor with the portable ultrasound. I think I knew when the Doctor came what the outcome was going to be. Nothing can ever prepare you to lose a child. It’s just not the natural order of things. You are always supposed to go first.

Everyday I wish there would have been a different outcome. I think about what he would be like and how great it would be to snuggle both of my babies to sleep every night. He brought us a joy we had never experienced before. He made my first pregnancy a wonderful experience with so much love. Even though he only lived in my belly; he lives on everyday for me. He taught me so much about unconditional love and what you will do for your child. I learned to be patient and take life at a slower pace. Now I realize how precious life really is and it is because of him. I think he taught me so much more than I could have ever taught him.

To answer the age-old question. No, I will never fully understand why he was taken from us but I know why he was given to us. And I would do it all over again to be able to feel him move in my belly, hear his heartbeat and hold him. Even though it is hard at times for me to talk about what happened or write about it I know that I need too. I think he would want me to ❤

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Parenting Is

Parenting is thinking you are giving up an old life for a new life with a child. Then you hear their first cry and realize you never lived until that moment.

Parenting is scary. I have to bring this baby home now? Where are the nurses?

Parenting is messy. That all to familiar poop smell at 3:00 a.m. or the first solid food feeding.

Parenting is exciting. The first hug, first steps, first words and all of the other amazing firsts.

Parenting is exhausting. That moment when you realize you don’t remember the last time you slept more than four hours in a row.

Parenting is fun. Who doesn’t want to play hide and go seek or chutes and ladders again?

Parenting is hard. When they are in pain or get their feelings hurt and you want to cry right along with them.

Parenting is rewarding. Watching your child accomplish something for the first time and seeing that they believe in themselves.

Parenting is learning to be silly again. Laughing and having fun with your child is the best.

Parenting is love. Loving another human being more than you could ever love yourself.

Parenting is when you look back and realize you would do it all over again ❤

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5 Reasons why it’s awesome to live in Wisconsin

I know what you are all thinking “She’s bragging because the Badgers won last night.” Well, maybe a little but when you think about it; it’s pretty cool to live here in Wisconsin. Now some of these reasons are only for the adults (day drinking) but most of them are kid friendly.

  1. We have the best fans for our sports teams. I have heard it time and time again and have heard people say it that don’t even live here. Only in Wisco is it totally acceptable to wear a cheesehead out in public. Sometimes people wear them that are not at a Packer game or anywhere near Green Bay. We cheer on our teams through the good times and the bad times. If you are going to stand out in below zero weather with no shirt on and your chest painted green and gold you are not just a fair weather fan. Or on the other hand if you are going to tailgate, cook brats and play bean bags in 90 degree weather plus humidity to then go and watch the Brewers play in a stadium where the sun is beating down on you; you are not a fair weather fan.
  2. Day Drinking. This goes hand in hand with sports and pretty much anything in Wisco. It is perfectly acceptable to begin drinking at 11:00 a.m. I mean why go camping if you can’t day drink? Usually the ratio of bars to people in Wisconsin cities are pretty close. The bars and liquor stores are open everyday (sorry Minnesota lol) You can usually find a Bloody Mary any day of the week that is more like a meal than an alcoholic beverage. We make a lot of our own beer and love to support our local breweries. I mean come on our baseball team is called the Brewers.
  3. Cheese and cheese curds. Have you ever had our cheese curds? Deep fried or squeaky they are the absolute best. At any type of event or family function you can bet your ass you will find cheese curds and/or a cheese and sausage tray. There are tons of specialty cheese shops you can stop at and pick up any flavor of cheese or cheese curds you could possibly imagine. You can even watch them make the cheese. If you have ever ate an awesome cheese curd or had some great Wisconsin cheese thank a farmer 🙂
  4. We have America’s largest water park!!!!! Oh yes Noah’s Ark is pretty awesome. In the biblical sense and the water park sense. Husband and I may or may not have went to Noah’s Ark by ourselves and ran around like little kids going on every single slide 😉 Plus there are tons of other attractions in Wisconsin Dells to go and see. Can you say outlet mall? Where else are you going to be able to ride around on Ducks?
  5. We experience all four seasons. Now, I know we are not the only state that does but we sure know how to enjoy each season. Let’s start with Winter. There is skiing, snowmobiling, snowboarding, snowshoeing, ice fishing and the list goes on and on. Ah Spring finally the weather is warming up. I mean come on we have only been complaining about the cold weather since November. The possibilities seem endless until you look at your yard and have to clean up all of the junk the snow-plows have pushed into your yard. Then we get to Summer. There is camping, boating, fishing, hiking, swimming and so much more! Then there comes Fall or Autumn as I like to call it 😉 The leaves are changing and there are actually fall color reports that are given to us by our local news stations. On any given weekend you can find people driving around the state looking at leaves. With fall comes deer season which is pretty much a state holiday. We may complain about the weather a lot but we are entitled too. Only in Wisconsin can you experience 70 degrees one day and wake up to a blanket of snow the next day.

There are so many more reasons why we live in a pretty awesome state. But since we are experiencing two seasons today Winter and Spring I am off to get the grill ready before it snows or rains. Tell me why it’s awesome to live in your state or country? Or if you are a fellow Badger tell me what you love about Wisconsin ❤ Of course I will give you some time to take some headache medicine since I am sure we were all having a couple Leinie’s or New Glarus last night after the big W!!

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Ahh fall! So beautiful 🙂
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Summer!!
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Beautiful Winter snow 🙂
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Spring? Yep that’s Spring in Wisco 😉
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Winter but the river is open. Things that make you go hmmmm.

10 Inspiring Life Lessons From A Brave Mom -TIP Article

Hey everyone!! I was asked to write a guest post for Tuned In Parents. Of course I happily accepted and I think it was a great opportunity 🙂 You can find my post here http://tunedinparents.com/2015/04/03/10-inspiring-life-lessons-from-a-brave-mom/ If you have a chance give it a read and let me know what you think!!

In other news we are getting ready for Easter over here so that means a Saturday morning trip to the grocery store. I am going to try and sneak in a quick hike at the arboretum first so hopefully I will be nice and relaxed 😉 We are not doing the traditional Easter ham we actually were given a beef tenderloin so we are going to grill that up with mushrooms and wrap it in bacon. Oh my mouth is watering already! Then we have an Easter egg hunt planned for later in the afternoon with my bestie and her kids so that should be a blast!

We were able to get (gasp!) a babysitter Thursday night so we were able to help personal trainer celebrate at his retirement party. It was tons of fun! Judging from the tiny headache I had yesterday I may have had a little too much fun 😉 Luckily Avery took a nap yesterday so I was able to rest. Avery was very busy “shopping” with her shopping cart yesterday and playing with her toys (she was trying to ignore me). I think she was a little upset with me that I wasn’t home for bedtime on Thursday night. Friday morning when she woke up she wouldn’t look at me or talk to me. I was good enough to hold her hand and rub her feet though 😉  I also found an alarming present by the mailbox yesterday that Percy had left for us. A mole. You all know how much I hate mice and moles are in the same category. I wondered why Percy refused to come in the house on Thursday and now I know. Of course we had to let him know how proud we were of him.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend!!

A day in the life of a toddler: A timeline

This post was actually inspired by my husband. Last night he was talking to Avery about the things she does in a day/night. Avery loves to pull my date book off of the desk and flip through it. We always say how busy she is with all of her appointments. When she was flipping through the book he started saying random times and things she does at those times. He was actually spot on so I decided to do a little post about it and add a couple of things. I am going to start with bedtime and move on from there.

8:00 p.m. Get pj’s on and run around like crazy person.

9:00 p.m. Decide that it is okay to lay down but still refuse sleep.

10:00 p.m. After an hour-long fight give in and close eyes.

1:00 a.m. Wake up for some unknown reason and run to mommy and daddy’s bed.

1:10 a.m. Start playing with mommy’s hair and kick daddy a couple of times.

1:20 a.m. Let parents fall back asleep and then start crying because I farted.

1:30 a.m. Mommy carries me back to my room for some unknown reason. Dang I am not done playing with her hair.

2:00 a.m. Crap, I fell asleep again.

4:30 a.m. I’m up! Why am I in my own bed? Must go back to mommy and daddy’s bed.

5:15 a.m. Whoops I fell back asleep. Just in time for mommy to get up and start her day.

8:00 a.m. Ahh I am awake and fully rested. Just in time to catch mommy before she would get any alone time.

8:30 a.m. Freak out because I am so hungry but then when my breakfast is presented to me refuse to eat it.

8:45 a.m. Realize that mommy isn’t kidding and she is not going to make me anything else.

8:50 a.m. Give in and eat my oatmeal.

9:00 a.m. Watch Sesame Street

9:20 a.m. Decide to take all of my toys out of the toy box.

10:00 a.m. Watch mommy do some light cleaning

10:20 a.m. Open curtains and put hands on every window mommy just cleaned.

10:30 a.m. Take all clothes out of laundry basket and throw them on the floor.

11:00 a.m. Demand a snack and only eat a couple of crackers.

11:15 a.m. Sit on cat. Mommy flips a lid and starts yelling at both of us.

11:16 a.m. Cat makes really weird noise. Does that mean he likes me?

11:30 a.m. Mommy starts talking about nap time.

11:35 a.m. Run around like a wild animal

11:50 a.m. Mommy says it’s time for lunch.

12:00 p.m. I try my yogurt that I eat everyday and decide that I do not want to ever taste it again.

12:05 p.m. Oh crap mommy really isn’t kidding cause she just put my yogurt back in the fridge.

12:10 p.m. Eat yogurt

12:30 p.m. Mommy says it is time for a nap and she opens the gate for the stairs.

12:31 p.m. Hmmm do I want to go upstairs? I will close the gate myself and go over my options.

12:32 p.m. I guess the only option is to go upstairs. Per mommy.

12:34 p.m. Once I get upstairs and into my room mommy says she has to go potty and she will be right back. Score! That means I have just enough time to take every book off of the shelf.

12:35 p.m. Mommy enters my bedroom and is not happy. Do I care? Not really cause I don’t have to pick up the books yet.

1:30 p.m. Finally give in and take a nap. I might as well because I am tired.

3:30 p.m. Wake up and demand to cuddle with mommy for at least one hour. If she does not comply I will have a massive fit which includes laying on the ground and crying.

4:30 p.m. I feel better after crying and I want to watch Bubble Guppies.

5:00 p.m. Watch mommy do dishes and start supper.

5:10 p.m. Since I am in the kitchen I might as well put all of my magnets on the floor.

5:30 p.m. I start putting some of my magnets back on the fridge after mommy steps on most of them.

6:00 p.m. Daddy is home!!

6:01 p.m. Let daddy pick me up and hug me but that is it. No kisses.

6:15 p.m. Eat one bite of supper with spoon. Continue eating supper with hands.

6:16 p.m. Hear a Progressive insurance commercial on t.v. and run into living room. What? I like Flo.

6:16 p.m. and 10 seconds Mommy shuts t.v. off. What a buzzkill she is.

6:30 p.m. I finally finish eating.

6:45 p.m. Throw all of my toys on the floor after mommy picks them up and vacuums.

7:30 p.m. Eat chips with daddy and get them all over the freshly vacuumed floor.

7:45 p.m. Brush my teeth. I love brushing my teeth!

7:50 p.m. See mommy carrying pj’s and start whining.

7:51 p.m. Hear mommy say to daddy that she thinks I will go to sleep early tonight because I played so hard this evening.

7:52 p.m. Devise a plan to make sure I stay awake

8:00 p.m. OMG she is putting my pj’s on. Must run around like a crazy animal.

This pretty much sums up a day in the life of Avery. We are very lucky to have our wild little woman ❤ She makes life fun!

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It’s award season!!

Here I am at the podium in my beautiful black dress accepting three awards!! After my beautiful and heartfelt acceptance speech I will be answering questions and there will be an opportunity for a photo-op before I am off to all of the parties. Okay snap back to reality. Here I really am sitting on my couch in black yoga capris and a blue t-shirt. I will be off to the kitchen soon to make supper and wash dishes. So real life isn’t as glamorous as my day dreams. But in real life I do have three awards to accept!! Pretty awesome 🙂  I have to apologize for not posting about them sooner but I was waiting to find some more awesome blogs to nominate for these awards. One award is new to me and the other two I have received in the past. The first award I received was the Versatile Blogger Award! Awesome award and the rules are to just nominate 10 blogs and link back to the person that nominated you. I would like to thank https://aquileana.wordpress.com for the nomination and you have a chance stop over and check them out 🙂 Now for the nominees.

  1. https://thatanxiousmom.wordpress.com Blogging for Therapy
  2. http://littleassholes.com The Joy of Cooking (For Little Assholes)
  3. https://diapersandtutus.wordpress.com From Diapers and Tutus to Meetings and Boardrooms
  4. https://sendsunshine.wordpress.com Send Sunshine
  5. https://theameribritmom.wordpress.com The AmeriBrit Mom

And that’s all she wrote. Sorry I always fall short but hey it’s my blog and I have my own rules 😉 Anyway if you get a minute stop and check these blogs out. It will be well worth it 🙂 The rules for the nominees is to nominate ten other blogs and link back to the person (me) that nominated you, and post the award on your blog.

The next award that I received was the One Lovely Blog Award. Two time winner!! I was nominated by The AmeriBrit Mom. Now you really have to stop and check her out because she is mentioned in this post twice 😉

The final award is the Real Neat Blog Award. Second time 🙂 I was nominated by Send Sunshine so stop on over and check her out. The rules for this award is to nominate and answer seven questions. I am more than happy to answer these burning questions 🙂 For the nominations I am going to nominate every blogger that comes across this post because I feel we all have Lovely and Neat blogs 🙂 Now for the questions.

  1. What is your favorite T.V or book series? This is a hard one. I am going to go with T.V. because I haven’t read a book series since I was very young. I guess I will go with That 70’s Show. I just love that show!!
  2. Do you prefer…Breakfast, Lunch or Dinner? I would have to go with lunch. There are so many options for lunch. You can do an appetizer with a salad and soup. Or go all out with a big meal. Of course there is an opportunity to have an adult beverage or two 😉 If I am at home I still prefer lunch.
  3. Morning, Noon or Night? Noon. Now that I am a mom noon means we are closing in on nap time. Ahhh how wonderful nap time can be. In our world there is about a 95% chance of a nap happening. Bedtime is always a different story….
  4. The Beach, The Mountains, or a Wide Open Field? The beach. There are so many possibilities at the beach. Swimming, walks, playing in the sand and ice cream. You can also relax with a book 🙂
  5. When was the last time you paid it forward? Hmm I guess I have never done the whole thing where I paid for someone’s coffee or meal. We do like to donate to and attend fundraisers in our community. We are lucky enough to live in a community that really does pull together when someone is in need so there are always steak feeds and other fundraisers to go to. Of course we attend the Pay it Forward pig roast which we were very lucky to be the recipients a couple of years back 🙂 I love to do up a gift basket to donate and participate in all of the raffles.
  6. What is your dream of all dreams? Now that I do have my daughter I would have to say this right now; blogging. Of course in my wildest dreams I would be an author of children’s books and maybe even a cookbook.
  7. Do you have a favorite font or how do you feel about writing in all CAPS? Oh how I love this question!! Yes, I do have a favorite font it is Tahoma!! I really don’t care for all caps unless I am really trying to express a feeling. Neat question I would have never thought to ask this one 🙂

Well folks the dishes (I mean parties) are calling my name so I will have to go for now. Thank you to all of the bloggers that nominated me and to all of the people who stop by and read my blog!! It has been a crazy fun ride so far and I look forward to the future 🙂

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We’re all adults here…. Right?

Unfortunately, that is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. It seems like I jumped on a time machine and landed in middle school. You remember middle school right? The time when everyone was “finding” themselves and learning how to be really nasty to other people if they didn’t agree with or like what other said people were doing. Ugh, I was so glad that time was behind me. The bullying, the name calling, the whispers and just downright mean behavior. Oh but wait it happens again when you are an adult. Don’t get me wrong I am no angel. I catch myself gossiping and criticizing others too. But I really thought that being an adult meant we were all going to try to act like it.

I try very hard to be conscious of what I am doing and saying especially around kids. They are so impressionable and what adults say and do in front of them they will go and do the same. I wish everyone would could try to watch themselves as well. Again, I am not perfect and things slip but when they do I try to explain that is was wrong of me to say or do that.

Back to us “adults”  More than once I have wondered things like “Am I at the grocery store or back in middle school gym class?” Or the even better ponder “Am I at work or on the playground?” I guess I was wrong in assuming that people should and would be held to a higher professional standard when they were working. Between all of the tattling and backstabbing the workplace can get really old. I mean can’t we just do what we came here for? You know that thing called work; let’s try that. Let’s face it we are all different and unique human beings. We are not always going to see eye to eye and we all have different opinions on how things should get done. We don’t all have to be best friends but we do have to work together. Work can sometimes be stressful enough without all of this childish behavior. (I know I am not working right now; just basing this on fond memories) Sometimes when I go out and about I am wearing yoga pants. To me that is perfectly acceptable. They are usually black or grey in color and I don’t feel that they are too tight. Other times I go shopping I am wearing jeans with a scarf or nice top. Apparently the cereal aisle has turned into the catwalk and I missed the memo. I thought I was just at the store to pick up some cereal not be judged by my outfit.

I see tons of stories on bullying all over social media. These kids go to school and get ridiculed on what they look like, how they dress or their likes and dislikes. I like to follow my old standard “If you are nice to me and treat me with respect, I will like you back.” I really could care less if your shirt has a hole in it or you like to (gasp) read books. If you are nice and friendly to me I will be the same to you. You kind of can predict that kids are going to be mean to each other at some point because they are learning how this world works. But we as adults should know better.

Then there is social media. Ugh. I love it and I hate it. Sometimes logging into Facebook is like walking into the cafeteria and not having anyone to sit with. Then we have the lovely passive aggressiveness or the straight out calling people on their shit. Well guess what I feel it is better to pick up the phone and call that person instead of re-posting something that nobody really knows what the heck you are talking about anyway. Then assumptions are made and we are back in middle school.

Nobody is perfect and I am fully aware of that. We are all going to say things that we don’t mean out of anger or frustration. But let’s try to take a step back and really think about what is going to fly out of our mouth. It is a lot more calming and pleasant to be nice to each other than being rude and mean. You never know what is going on with someone else in their personal life so know the whole story or try to before you judge. We are supposed to be adults and be an example for others. Let’s try to do that. Maybe in the future we can just say we’re all adults with no question.

The food wars

Today I realized I am raising a scavenger. Another hard truth also surfaced; she is learning from the best… her mother. I never thought that I would ever hide food from a child until I had one.

I guess we can blame ourselves for some of this scavenger behavior. Avery is a very picky little girl so when she wanted something off of our plate we would give it to her so she would try new things. Of course like most things in parenting it backfired big time. Now everything of ours is fair game. She doesn’t even limit her scavenging to us she will take food out of anyone’s hands or off of their plate. I have had to explain to people that yes, we do feed her she just likes food better if it is on someone else’s plate.

The things I have said and done to be able to eat alone are pretty embarrassing. I am hoping I am not alone in the things I am about to tell you. I have snuck popsicles in my pocket and eaten them upstairs so I don’t have to share. I have eaten things that I really don’t like very much because I knew Avery didn’t like them. A couple of days ago I sliced myself up some summer sausage because in the past Avery refused to eat it so I thought I would be safe. Nope, she started stealing slices off of my plate and running away smiling and laughing like a mad woman. I am glad she ate some form of meat but what kid doesn’t like chicken nuggets but eats summer sausage. We once made Avery sit at the table and try a chicken nugget. She refused until we weren’t looking and she swiped two off of her brother’s plate. After that she is back to refusing. I have hidden food behind my back and the computer screen. One day I was caught eating by someone and they asked why I was in the closet eating. I replied “I don’t want to share this with Avery and you can’t make me!” Who is the toddler here?

It’s amazing to me how kids can hear a wrapper or the crinkling of a chip bag from miles away.  We have resorted to putting chips in a bowl even if she is napping. Trust me she will wake up for chips.The way Avery’s eyes light up when she sees a bag of chips is kinda scary. Now if only her eyes would light up when she saw a plate of meat and veggies we would really have it made. Avery loves most fruit so we are good there. Except grapes and those small orange things called “Cuties” By watching the commercial for “Cuties” I thought everyone loved them. Not my kid. She loves to lick them a little and then shove them in my mouth. Same with grapes. Except the grapes get dangerous because once she is done shoving grapes in her mother’s mouth she tries to put the vine in there. It is a little alarming to have a grape-vine coming at your eyes and mouth at warp speed. (You know I have that thing where I hate things by my eyes) It’s funny and cute when your toddler is “feeding” you until you have an eye patch

Am I the only parent hiding food from children? I really hope not. If Avery is the only scavenger in the world we are in trouble. If you are hiding from your children in closets eating let me know. If you eat openly in front of your children I suggest you come over to the dark side. It is so nice to be able to eat a whole snack alone.

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The first beggar. Maybe he taught her…..
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See how she is smiling?

Ahhh Hiking

Finally the weather is cooperating and I have been able to get a couple hikes in. I guess mother nature didn’t like seeing me in my workout shorts because we are due for rain/freezing rain/sleet/snow or whatever else can come out of the sky later today. Sorry mother nature, if you would let me get outside I would maybe look a little better 😉 Anyway, it was so nice to get outside and get some hiking in. I knew I missed hiking but I didn’t realize how much until I got to do it again. We have been getting a couple walks in too. Usually the walks are short because Avery is with and it doesn’t take her long to wonder into someone’s yard or just plain get sick of walking. Can’t really blame the gal but it is nice for her to get out too so we walk around the block and come home.

With this time of the year comes ice jams and huge chunks of ice on the shorelines. Of course I snapped a couple of pics of some ice for you all to enjoy. I didn’t get a chance to get any pics of the big ice jam this year but you will get the just of it. Since I am still dealing with a really annoying head cold I am going to cut this one short and let you enjoy the pics I did take. Once this cold is gone (which better be soon) I will get back to blogging more and hopefully cleaning my house too. I felt good enough to hike today for a little while and go on a short walk and now I am back to feeling like a zombie. I am sure if you would have seen me hiking today you would have wondered why I was outside. Between sneezing breaks and clearing my nose breaks I probably looked pretty silly. Don’t worry I took my used Kleenex’s home to dispose of them. I did see used Kleenex on the trails (Eww)

If you have a chance get out and enjoy this weather! If any of you have any pics of the great outdoors feel free to share them. You can share them with me on my Facebook page (Welcome to my World), the twitter (tweet to @6480Autumn) or on here. I love to see what everyone’s world looks like 🙂

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Last weekend hiking before the big sickness 🙂
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River is open!! (For now)

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