Adventures of She-Ra and Percy

When they told me that my daughter was going to come early I tried to prepare myself thinking she would be a little less physical because she was early. When she threw her nuk out of her incubator that should have been a sign of things to come. This chick is cray-cray. She seriously never stops. Our tree this year is only half decorated which I expected anyway but I am reconsidering any decorations on it at all. She has extendo arms. I have seen them in action. We hung all of the ornaments so they would not be within arms reach and she still manages to get them down. If we catch her taking them down she tries to put them back while smiling at us sweetly. If she wants something or wants to do something she is going to do it and there really isn’t any stopping her. I think when she gets up in the morning and goes to play with her toys they are like “Oh crap, she’s here again to abuse us.” Avery feels things or people should move for her instead of her moving if something or someone is in her way. She has the hand thing down to a tee. If you are in her way you get a hand waving you or pushing you to the side. If she thinks she can get around you or over you she just crawls or tries to walk on you. She literally walks on me. Her poor toys get stepped on all of the time. We got her coloring books and Sesame Street crayons for Christmas this year and loves them. We colored at the table and she had a great time. Someone I am not going to mention any names here but someone let her play with the crayons after the coloring session was over. Later that evening Avery came up to us with purple crayon on her face and the Count had a big chunk missing.

Avery and the cat are partners in crime for sure. They may act like they don’t like each other but if it’s a job too big for just one they team up. The other day I went out to the mailbox anticipating tons of pretty Christmas cards in the mail and I guess in my excitement I forgot to shut one of the doors when I went outside. So that only left the screen door as a barrier between the two stinkers and the great outdoors. Since our mailbox is literally right next to the steps on our porch I didn’t think getting the mail would be a big deal. When I came around the corner oohing and ahhing over the pretty cards I saw a big orange cat escaping to freedom and a little girl in a pink shirt holding the door open for him with a big smile on her face. Ugh getting Percy back in the house is like wrestling a wild alligator. There is tons of fur flying and crazy sounds that come out of his mouth. Even if he doesn’t get very far a person should really be wearing a leather suit to put that cat away. For the most part Avery stays away from Percy unless they are plotting on me or she is in a silly mood. Like tonight when she took her cup and started banging Percy’s lower back with it. If there is one thing you don’t do its touching that cat’s lower back. If he doesn’t get his revenge right away he will wait until the time is right to strike. He has done it to many people. He doesn’t forget that one. He doesn’t retaliate against Avery with brute force like he does to the rest of his enemies he just makes sure she sees him getting extra attention. And the begging; those two team up and beg for food constantly. It is very hard to eat anything around here without an audience. I actually snuck around to eat a banana this morning because I really didn’t feel like sharing. I know it sounds bad but I was really hungry.

We shall see what tomorrow brings……

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There is fire in those eyes…..
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This time she left evidence behind.
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Beggars from way back. Yes, I have a cat blanket. Don’t judge it is very warm and it was made with love by my aunt. No, I am not a crazy cat lady.
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Before the Count incident

How are they going to know how to act unless you show them?

Today was one of those days with Avery if you know what I mean. It started out great and turned into frustrating soon after. It started when she refused to nap. Husband took her upstairs to nap and she refused to lay down so he decided to let her chill for a little bit in her room hoping she would calm down and fall asleep. We really wanted her to nap cause step-son had a chorus concert this afternoon and we wanted to have a nice time. I know it sounds silly or maybe even stupid to think that could happen with a toddler but we had high hopes. Anyway, it took about two minutes before we heard a crash and something shattering. We both ran into her room to find Avery in a pile of books with her piggy bank smashed on the floor. Thank gosh she was okay and the piggy bank was ceramic not glass. I am still trying to figure out how she got the piggy bank but like I have said before she is like she-ra.  That should have been a clue right there that one of us should have stayed home with her. Instead like two silly people we took Avery out in public.

We get to the concert and it is packed. They were even putting out extra chairs in front of the stage because the bleachers were full. At first we sat in the bleachers but then I got to thinking that maybe we should sit in the chairs so if Avery did get really naughty I could exit quickly. So down to the chairs we went. Before the concert even started Avery got mad because we wouldn’t let her run all over the place like a wild monkey. So I took her out in the hall for what I thought would be a short break and then we would be back in. I was so wrong. Every time  we got close to the gym Avery wanted to run in there and dance her heart out and if I grabbed her hand or tried to pick her up she would scream like I was hurting her. So we walked the halls instead. The whole time I was thinking “Why do I even leave my house?” and “I should have just stayed home with her.” I was getting more and more frustrated the more we walked. Then Avery found an open door. Ugh! She ran into someone’s office that was doing some work at their desk. By the time I got to her she was already climbing on one of the chairs in front of the desk ready to make a new friend. Thankfully he thought it was funny and cute and we quickly left him to his work. By the time I finally got Avery back into the gym we got to hear one song and the concert was over. When we were walking back in I could feel eyes on us. All I could do was think how these people were probably wishing we weren’t coming back or how they probably heard us all of the times we had attempted to come back in. I was so embarrassed and even when we got home I was still thinking about it.

After getting home and stewing for a while I started to think back about a conversation I had with someone at the store. I ran into a gal that I used to work with and still talk to every time I see her. She was asking me where my little cutie was and I sighed and said “She’s at home; she is in a mood.” She replied “I always tell my daughter how are your kids supposed to know how to act if you don’t take them anywhere.” At the time I have to admit I was thinking you must be crazy if you think I am going to take Avery to the store if I don’t have to. But after today I realize she is so right. I have to admit I really don’t take Avery a lot of places and it shows when I do take her places. I know some of it is being a toddler and no one is perfect but I know if I did take her places more she probably would behave better. Not saying that I should have stayed in the gym with her while she was trying to have her own party but I think if I took her more places she would know how to behave better. I have really been trying to work on it lately but after today I know we have a long way to go. But I know we can get there. Maybe I sound silly or lazy that I don’t take Avery out as much as I should but I guess I just figured it was so much easier to run to the store when husband got home. I just always feel so bad when I get frustrated with Avery especially if we are out in public. Then I end up beating myself up about it. I kind of put it to myself like this now: 1. I want Avery to know how to behave better in public. 2. She has to learn that you have to do things even if you don’t want to. Another lesson taught to me by my two year-old. I never would have thought that after today I would end up thinking I need to take her out in public more but I am glad that I came to that realization 🙂

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Who wouldn’t want to take this sweet face in public 🙂
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Crashed after an outing. Another benefit of outings she gets sleepy 😉

No Nap: Day 2

Not to brag or anything but Avery is usually a great napper. I know what happens when I get to braggin’ about my kid; karma swoops in and shows me whose boss. It happened again folks. We are on day 2 of a napping hiatus and it has me very worried. I can honestly count on both hands the times she hasn’t taken a nap. See sometimes I may take a nap I mean do housework when Avery is napping. I am not prepared for these days to end.

It all started yesterday when we had Christmas on husband’s side of the family. By the time we left to go home it was probably 3:30. Since we have been living in a fog (literally) since Thursday it took longer than usual to get home. A fifteen minute drive stretched into about a half hour. Of course Avery fell asleep in the car which I really didn’t want her to because it was getting a little to late for a nap. When we got home she was up and not happy about it. But I made her stay up until bedtime because the consequences of a late nap are worse than no nap at all. Since I knew I wasn’t going to be napping I mean getting work done I figured she might as well be up. I actually did and still do have a lot of housework to do because I have been on some sort of strike lately.

Today I decided that when Avery was napping I was going to tackle the majority of my housework. Well she decided it for me because there was no way she was going to let me clean. So I pushed my lunch back so I could get her down early with enough time to eat, clean and maybe blog a little. Even though today is perfect napping weather. It is so dreary and has been for days. Up to bed we went except my plan failed miserably. She refused to nap. Ugh! I swear she knows when I have plans to do something!

I never thought that Avery not napping could strike so much fear with me. I guess I got really used to our afternoon naps I mean “quiet” time. If there was a game show called Best Napper we would definitely be coming home with a lifetime supply of something. Especially Avery. The girl is not good at sleeping at night but if it’s after noon give that girl a pillow cause she’s going down. So now I sit at the computer jealous of my cat because he is curled up sleeping in my bed while I get to listen to the ABC Song on Avery’s new school bus magnet for the 100th time since yesterday. I did treat myself to a Sprite so that helps. I have to wonder “Am I the only parent that depends on their kid or kids napping everyday?” I really thought this nap thing would carry out for at least another year or so. Avery was a little over a year old when she quit napping twice a day. Now that was the cat’s meow let me tell ya. One nap for chores then another nap for relaxation; I mean more chores.

How old were you’re kids when they stopped napping? Did it ruin your life? Feel free to comment because I need to know if my napping days are over so I can appropriately mourn them 🙂

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This is obviously not from today but I do remember it was a no-nap kinda day.

Why I try to be thankful everyday

After the slew of things that have happened to us over the years and the demands of everyday life sometimes I forget to be thankful for what we have. I try everyday to remind myself to be thankful. Here are a couple of situations that arise that make me think about what to be thankful for:

  • When days get frustrating with my daughter (like right now when she is climbing on me while I type) I think about what life was like without her and I am so thankful to have her.
  • When I miss my son so terribly it hurts. I think about the days of Clomid, negative pregnancy tests and procedures. It reminds me of how happy he made me when he was in my belly and how much he taught me about love and life. I also know I will see him again someday ❤
  • When I get sick I think about what life was like during chemo. A little sinus infection pales in comparison to all of the days and nights when I felt like absolute garbage.
  • When I get frustrated with my new hair. I think about the days when I had none or very little. I also know how lucky I am that mine came back.
  • When I open the checkbook and my stomach falls to the floor. I think about how lucky I am to have a warm place to live that we own and to be able to stay home with my daughter.
  • When Christmas gets expensive. I am thankful to have family to buy for and the real reason for the season.
  • When my body is sore and out of whack I think about chemo. I actually am thankful for chemo because without it I might not be here to type this.
  • When I get upset about not being able to have more children of my own I think about my hysterectomy. If it wasn’t for my hysterectomy I wouldn’t be here to raise the one that I have here with me.
  • When I wonder why in the heck I am blogging. I think about the followers I have and the thoughts that are out of my head and on paper. I also think about the people who have messaged me, etc and told me how my blog has made them smile or feel better. For all of those I am thankful.

What makes you thankful? I am sure I have tons more but these are the ones that come to mind 🙂

 

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This little foot print makes my heart smile everyday 🙂

 

I wished for you

Every negative test I wished for you

Every procedure I wished for you

Every month I wished for you

Whenever I started to give up hope I wished for you

I wished for you on every star

Now that my wish came true I still wish for you

I wish for you to be happy

I wish for you to love and be loved

I wish for you to have patience and understanding

I wish for you to enjoy life

I wish for you to be silly and have fun

I wish for you to know how much I love you

 

A day at the gym and a theft

As you all know I have been on the workout train for over a year now with what I think are some good results. I have a small secret. Today is the first time I have went to an actual gym. (gasp) I usually do something outside or go to personal trainers house for my workouts but since winter is getting to me and I realized it had been a very long time since I had left my house to do anything besides run to the grocery store; I seized the opportunity to go to the gym. Personal trainer had brought up going to the gym a while ago for something new and then I found out they had a toddler area. Perfect than we can take turns working out and Avery will get some socializing. Well the only bad part about this is that I hate the gym. I have gym anxiety? Not sure if that is a thing. I just get so self-conscious going to the gym and working out in front of people. I have never been athletic and the gym is always chock full of people perfectly toned and extremely knowledgeable about the gym equipment. I am neither. I always feel like I am the one panting on the machines and everyone else is just whoppin’ it up having a great time while I am in a pool of sweat. Don’t even get me started on the machines. I am mechanically challenged? Again not sure if that is a thing. You can ask me to type anything for you and I can do it. If you ask me to adjust a piece of workout equipment I will freeze and maybe run away. Last but not least going to the gym makes me feel like I am in gym class and I hated gym class. Everyone staring at everyone else and I never had adequate gym clothes. Maybe it was the lingering sinus infection/flu or the fact I felt my walls in my house closing in on me but I came up with the idea to go to the gym.

This morning started for us at about 4:30 a.m. with Avery crawling over me to get into our bed. She was ready to party to we ended up getting up shortly after she came in. After our morning doings I got our gym bag packed, my best workout outfit and we were off. On the ride over I contemplated on how to break it to personal trainer that I needed to stop at Target for diapers. (Potty training is going so-so; 4 stars) Lucky me he asked if I needed anything and that he would be okay if we left him at the gym to go run errands. Yes! So far so good.

We pull into the parking lot and there is a bus. What the what? This whole time I had been hyping myself up thinking “It’s Thursday, there probably won’t be a lot of people here.” But a bus? Did they bus in high school bullies to laugh at me? Ugh! I reluctantly went inside. Once inside we learned that not only do they have a toddler area but you can leave your kids in there for one hour and someone else will watch them. Awesome! Of course it came at a cost; $4.00 to be exact. I am thinking about opening an alternate gym daycare across the road and charge $3.00 an hour. Maybe I am delusional but $4.00 an hour for a gym daycare seems a little pricey. I was thinking for $4.00 they could have at least given her a bath or something 😉

On to the gym. Personal trainer had a machine all picked out for me. It looked really scary. You put your knees on this platform and put your hands up on these lever thingy’s  and then you drop yourself down. I watched him for a little bit and it actually looked pretty easy. Thank gosh something looks easy maybe the gym had changed. So I get on the machine and I just drop down without trying and there is a loud bang. Crap. This machine looks like it will set me back a couple G’s. It didn’t appear to be broken but I did have the attention of everyone that didn’t have ear buds in. We quickly moved on. I found the nearest elliptical and go on. Personal trainer has an elliptical so I figured I could figure out a gym model. It went good but of course I felt like I was the only one panting and sweating through their shirt. I think everyone that goes to the gym should wear shirts that explain their situation a little. My shirt today would have went a little something like this: Recent sinus infection, lack of sleep due to toddler. Then maybe everyone would understand each other a little better. After the elliptical I had a little time to spare so I found myself an ab machine. I read the directions a little and hopped on. I guess I was doing something wrong because a gym employee was standing in front of me after my second crunch. I have blocked out most of what she said because she was very rude; but I guess the weights were “banging” and she told me that I needed to stop before I drove myself and everyone else crazy.  This is why I workout in the privacy of a home or forest. I was going to figure out what I was doing wrong before this woman came out of nowhere. Then she stood by the machine and kept counting every motion I did during a crunch. After she finally got it that I was not happy with her she walked away and I pretty much ran to the locker room and it was off to Target.

Ahh Target my happiest of places. I am not sure how every time I go there I end up spending ridiculous amounts of money when I only planned on getting a “few” things. Anyway, half-way through our trip Avery let me know she was sick of riding in the cart. I found a little doll that she loved and it was only $3.00. I thought win-win I can keep her quiet while I browse and I can throw it in her stocking for Christmas. After check-out and realizing I saved $10 with my Cartwheel app today (score!) I was in a great mood and the thoughts of mean trainer lady were a distant memory. Then I went to put the cart away after I loaded the purchases. I looked down and saw a little baby sitting next to my daughter. Crap I totally forgot about her and she wasn’t on my receipt. Avery’s first theft; mark it in the baby book 😉 We did the right thing and returned her. The ladies at the service counter got a good laugh and then we were off to pick up personal trainer.

The two most important things I have taken away from this experience is #1 I am not meant for the gym #2 Don’t give your child toys to “play” with in the store. Bad practice to get into. Personal trainer mentioned another gym that we can go to that is smaller. I will think about it. Another outing in the books.

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Gym items and target merchandise 😀

 

Don’t let anyone dull your shine

With all of the trials and tribulations we have been through in the past there is one thing I have learned. Don’t let anyone dull your shine. Sometimes people can be cruel and just downright jerks. I have other words for them but I will try to keep it clean 😉 The second you let someone make you feel bad then they know they have won. People that actually get their kicks off of making other people miserable need to be put in their place. All you have to do is pick yourself up and keep going. I realized people hate it when you do that. Plus it is more effective than yelling or making a big scene. I know this can be very difficult, I have lost my temper many times but it’s not as effective as just lifting your head up, putting a big smile on your face and moving on. Now as a mother I realize this is more important than ever before.
My daughter is with me pretty much 24/7 so she sees everything I do and hears everything I say. Even though she isn’t talking yet I know that she is soaking up all of that precious info. Sometimes it surprises me how much she does soak up. I am trying to be more aware of what I say and do in front of her. Of course I am only human and I probably curse too much, judge people and maybe gossip but the only way I can really teach her is to follow the rules myself. If she sees me judging people and talking nasty all day then that is what she will think is acceptable. (Not that I do those things all day but you get the picture)
Recently someone told me something about my daughter that I did not want to hear. She was present when it happened. It made me very upset to the point I was almost shaking. Even now I can feel my blood pressure rising. It took me a while to calm down and I am still working on it but in the process I realized something. Whatever the situation with Avery is whether it be school, learning, friends, boys or anything else I have to teach her how to handle the situation with a good attitude. I may be upset about what happened but I shouldn’t show it to Avery. I can tell Avery until I am blue in the face to have respect for people and treat them the way that you want to be treated but if I don’t do the same then she will never really learn. Don’t get me wrong I will make sure my daughter doesn’t just roll over and take it but there are plenty of ways to defend yourself with class. I also always want her to know that she is smart enough and has the tools to do anything she puts her mind too.
When I saw my first oncologist she told me that some people make it. I let it really get me down at first. Then I came to the realization I was going to be one of the people who make it and that was my only option. Call it stubborn or bull-headed, but guess what; I made it. I waited way to long to be a mom and be able to bring a baby home with me and I was not going to give that up for stupid cancer. I truly feel it’s your attitude that helps you in every situation. If you have a bad attitude then things may not turn out your way. If you have a good attitude the outcome can be fabulous 🙂 Don’t get me wrong I have my days but I try so hard to have a good attitude.

One of the first times I went out and about without a wig after I was able to dye my hair someone said to me “Are you sure you want to be out without a wig?” Heck yes I did. Wigs are sweaty, itchy and uncomfortable (at least mine was) My response was “I am positive.”  I walked away and never looked back 🙂
People judged me because I decided to have my daughter early and begin treatment. Trust me I live with the guilt everyday but I am going to put it to you like the Doctors put it to me “You can have your daughter early and she won’t remember her time and struggles in the NICU or you can go full-term and she won’t remember you because you might not be here if you wait and you’re daughter needs you.” I think I made the right choice 🙂
I also hear the occasional “You should put your daughter in daycare, she would learn so much more.” Hmm this statement makes me want to use some profanity. I don’t judge parents that have to work or choose to work so please don’t judge me. Some people have told me I was being selfish for staying home with my daughter and I was robbing her the socialization she needs. This is another one that makes me go hmm. This is another time that I have to keep my head up and keep truckin’
I may not make everyone happy but you know what not everyone makes me happy either and that’s okay. We are all different, with different opinions and thoughts. If we were all the same life would be so boring. But there is a time to be heard and a time to be silent and move on. There is also a time that you know in your heart that you are right and you know what is best for yourself or your family. Don’t let ANYONE dull your shine. That’s when they win and that’s not acceptable. I am going to end this with one of my favorite quotes from The Help.
Every day you’re not dead in the ground, when you wake up in the morning, you’re gonna have to make some decisions. Got to ask yourself this question: “Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today?” You hear me? “Am I gonna believe all them bad things them fools say about me today? You hear me today?” All right? As for your mama, she didn’t pick her life. It picked her. But you, you’re gonna do something big with yours. You wait and see.

You are not going to win chores, not today

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Fur trap!!
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My cutie waiting to play ❤ Notice the maroon carpet
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Dining room flooring. It looked like a good idea at the time.

Since we have moved into a much larger home than we have had previously I find myself cleaning all of the time. I face a couple new obstacles in my new cleaning adventure. The two biggest obstacles are my daughter and my cat. They are the messiest people I have ever met. (Yes my cat is human) I have come to the conclusion that cleaning with a toddler and a cat is like cleaning a desk full of papers with a fan on. For example the other day I swept, swiffered and moped our dining room. About ten minutes later my cat puked and my toddler spilled milk all over. Ugh! Now the milk wouldn’t be such a problem except we have really dark flooring in our dining room and milk seems to show up even after it is cleaned. And the cat puke, well its gross. I am not sure what I was thinking when I picked out the flooring. It. shows. everything. I think my cat is mulching or something because I have never had to deal with so much fur in my life and my poor floor is suffering. Now it is a dark brown with a hint of orange fur.

In our living room some idiot installed maroon carpet. (It wasn’t me) Why in the world would you do that?? It shows everything and then some. If Avery eats one cracker you know it. If I leave the house when I come back I know everything my daughter and husband ate just by the crumbs on the floor. I vacuum at least once a day if not twice. Between the fur and the crumbs I am almost ready to rip the stupid carpet out myself. I had big plans for what little tax return I would be getting. Now those have disappeared because I have set my sights on one huge maroon eyesore that needs to go far far away.

The other day my bestie stopped over and we were talking about cleaning and how much we didn’t want to do it. She works full-time and I know how hard it is to keep a house clean while working. Our convo brought me back to when I did work full-time and how much my “week-ends” sucked. I put “week-ends” in quotations because it never really felt like I had any time off. Between grocery shopping and cleaning it seemed like I never left work. Then I started thinking about my life now. Here I am blessed with this wonderful little girl that I get to spend every day with and I waste most of my time cleaning. She doesn’t care if every nook and cranny of the house is clean or the laundry is done. All she cares about is her toys and her cartoons are available. I almost feel guilty that almost every morning is dedicated to dishes, laundry and other chores. It should be dedicated to spending time with my little girl who is growing up way too fast. Before I know it I will be back to work and my “week-ends” are going to stink again and I will be wishing I would have spent more time with my little when I was at home with her. So today the chores are not going to win. I am going to play, dance and repeat.

Happy 2nd Birthday!!

Two years ago today at 8:27 a.m. we welcomed Avery Lee into the world ❤ Yup I have a two-year old. Unfortunately her allergies are bugging her today so we are putting her Birthday celebration on hold 😦 But she was able to take a phone call from the Bubble Guppies this morning. They wished her a Happy Birthday and talked to her for a little bit. She loved it!! I set the call up on the Nick Jr. website. They have a couple other characters that can call your little one if the Bubble Guppies aren’t their fav.

I am hoping that she feels a little better this afternoon because we are having a beautiful fall day in Wisconsin!! I think it  supposed to get above 60 degrees!! If you don’t live in Wisconsin or the mid-west 60 degrees in mid-October can sometimes be a feat to reach. Considering we did receive a little snow a couple of weeks ago I will take 60 degrees!!

Avery’s allergies started acting up yesterday and since she turned two today she is able to take Allegra (cue happy music) So we headed to the store to pick some up. Well being the ditz that I am I forgot to bring Kleenex with us to the store. We walked around and picked up the allergy med, Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath Soothing Vapor and Kleenex. The baby bath stuff works really good. Avery is set up for a soak after I am done writing 🙂 Anyway we get to the check-out and then bam she starts sneezing and her nose is running like a faucet. I was digging frantically in my purse and I came up with band-aids, nail-clippers and my wallet. None of which I needed at that moment. I started tearing open the Kleenex’s I was about to purchase. Of course I bought the three pack and for some reason they super-glued the plastic on them. The girl at the check-out was making it obvious she was not happy with me. I asked if I could open them and her reply was “I guess” well too bad lady it’s all over now. I guess she wanted boogers all over the cart. Another shopping adventure with Avery in the books 😉

I hope after her soak, some Vicks Vapo rub and a little nap we can get some celebrating in. I still can’t believe she is two. Where is that pause button?!?! Everyone told me it goes so fast and they were right! Now we are moving on to potty-training, big girl underwear and hopefully a little more talking to make the potty-training easier. She is now wearing mostly 3T clothes; it is so crazy. I was in a little size denial and bought her some 2T tops for her Birthday. I think she will be able to wear them a couple of times before they become a skin suit.

She has become the funniest person I have ever met. She makes me laugh everyday with her twirling, dancing and funny expressions. She is so good at cuddling and can be so sweet. I am looking forward to watching you grow and being your mom Avery Lee! The best is yet to be ❤

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