Don’t worry this post does not describe any disgusting bathroom stories. But I am going to talk about the bathroom and if that makes you queasy maybe move along to another post or come back tomorrow 😉
I am going to make an admission here that I have not made to anyone except close friends and confidants. I am not always going to the bathroom when I am in the bathroom. Sometimes a girl just needs some alone time and the confines of the bathroom is the only place I seem to get it some days. Sure there are the occasional times I get alone time in the morning when everyone else is sleeping or at night when everyone else is sleeping. See the trend here? I like sleep and the only time I get alone time is when everyone else is and I would like to join them. So the only place I am left with is the bathroom.
I get asked at least once or twice a week what I am doing in the bathroom. I never wanted to admit what I was doing in there because then the jig would be up. But I really have no choice because they won’t leave me alone. Whether it’s knocking on the door or talking about my bathroom time. This afternoon we had to have a half-hour long discussion on what I do in the bathroom. Husband brought it up (he may be tricking me here which he loves to do) but he always alludes to the fact that I have potty problems. Maybe I do but it’s really none of his business. Today he asked again “What do you do in there?” I of course replied with “None of your business; why do you keep asking?” He replied with “Sometimes I worry that something happened to you in there because you are gone for so long.” Just a little dramatic. I said something to the effect of “Just leave me alone unless you hear a thud in there; then come because something is wrong.” I got an eye roll. Then he says “You really want me to leave you alone unless you fall on the ground?” “Yup that’s what I said.”
With the invention of the smart phone and iPod it makes it very easy to spend countless minutes passing time away in the bathroom. Of course magazines and newspapers work too but they are so bulky. Smartphones and iPods can be hidden very easily. Plus it is really hard to go on Pinterest when all I have is a newspaper. I know you are wondering “How in the world does she go to the bathroom without a child getting to her?” The answer is this-baby gate. Ah yes the baby gate for now keeps her out of the upstairs bathroom. Of course this only works when someone is downstairs to keep an eye on her. that is where husband and/or step-son come into play. When they are home I have the freedom to hide from everyone for a minute.
Yes, it is true I take electronics into the bathroom and hide from my family. Did they trick me into admitting this? Probably. Am I going to regret admitting this? You bet. Is there anyone else out there like me? If you say no I will probably tell you to shut your little mouth because I know better. So that my friends is what I am doing in the bathroom.