Don’t Bring Me Down

I can’t help but see the mom bashing on social media, blogs, internet and everyday life. It seems like everyone has an opinion on what everyone else is doing. Whether you are a working mom or stay at home mom we are still moms. Whether you breast feed, bottle feed, cloth diaper or buy disposable diapers we are still the same. It makes me wonder why does there have to be so much tension?

In my eyes everyone has a right to their own opinion. But why do we feel the need to voice it in a negative way. Being a mother in this day and age is hard enough without added pressure from people who are our peers. We should be lifting each other up instead of bringing each other down.

When I chose not to breastfeed I had to explain myself up and down to tons of people. My reasoning was a little longer than  saying it doesn’t work for me or I don’t produce enough milk. I was to undergo chemo two weeks after I had my daughter. I had a couple of options. The first was to breastfeed for two weeks and then stop. With that came running the risk of getting an infection and then postponing chemo. The second was to breastfeed through chemo. I did not feel comfortable with that. The third was to not breastfeed at all. I chose the third. The reasoning behind my choice was I felt if I got an infection and had to postpone chemo then what was the point of putting my daughter through the NICU experience if I couldn’t start treatment to ensure time with her.

After each time of having to explain my choice I always wondered why do I feel the need to defend my choice. This is my life and my daughter’s life and I felt I made the best decision for us. I would literally run; well walk as fast as I could after a hysterectomy from the breast-feeding specialist at the hospital I had my daughter at. I understand I was a different case from most but everyone was saying different things to me and it seemed that no one was sure on what they thought I should do. Then I realized why should I waiver on my decision based on someone else’s opinion?

I see tons of articles on why moms should or shouldn’t go back to work. After the article there is always the comments and the fighting. Why should everyone feel they need to defend their decision on staying home or working? Some people don’t have a choice they have to work. Some people just know it is not for them. They would lay their life down for their children but they need to socialize with adults and get out of the house. Some people can make staying at home work and they want to stay home. Shouldn’t we all support each other decisions? Wouldn’t it be easier if we lifted each other up instead of the constant passive-aggressive comments? This mom thing is hard enough without everyone having to defend every single decision they make. Is my daughter going to be a bad person because I put her is disposable diapers? I hope not otherwise me and Pampers are going to have a problem. Are children going to be bad kids because of the brand of bottle we use? Probably not. Will my daughter be crazy because I let her watch Bubble Guppies? Maybe, crazy for Bubble Guppies but in general no.

I can’t say this for every mom but I can definitely say this for myself. I come up with tons of things to worry about all by myself I don’t need any help. Maybe I lived in a dream world when I pictured moms at the park getting along. I really didn’t think it would be a big deal when I pulled out non organic puffs. I know I am guilty of it too. Forming opinions on people or things when I do not have the full story. That’s the thing we never really know the full story. Maybe the mom next to you gives her child generic goldfish because she can’t afford the organic ones. Your neighbor may have to work because she carries the benefits and that darling little one in the car seat has asthma and their inhaler is ridiculously expensive. The mom you see at the library that never has her husband with her is alone because they work different shifts to cut down on daycare costs. The girl at the grocery store that is always alone didn’t want to be but she has no choice because her husband is in the military and he is gone right now.

Let’s do ourselves a favor. The next time you see the mom that is all alone struggling with her groceries; hold the door open for her. When you see your neighbor pulling out of her driveway give her a smile and a wave. When you see the mom at the library by herself say hi. The next time the mom at the playground pulls out her snacks start a conversation with her. We are all here for the same reason; to raise our children the best way we know how. Maybe if one of us starts being positive and trying to understand everyone’s situation we can make this mom bashing stop.

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My blogging report

Since WordPress put together such a nice report for my blog I figured I should follow-up with a less nice version 😉 But seriously I do want to put something together in my own words.

First off I would like to thank each and every one of you for reading, commenting, sharing, messaging me and following me. I really cannot believe how many people have reached out to me in the four short months of having a blog. I never in a million years dreamed that this blog would get the response that it has. I am still shocked on how many people have reached out to me so far. It is very nice and encouraging to receive the messages and comments from everyone. I really do enjoy chatting with everyone 🙂

Another thing I did not expect when I started blogging was the people I would meet and all of the things I would learn and see  from the comfort of my living room. I have really enjoyed getting to know everyone, seeing pictures and learning things about different states and countries. Maybe I am nerdy but I really do like learning new things! I guess I know I am nerdy since the highlight of my week was installing an updated version of Microsoft Office on my computer and discovering all of the new things about the programs 😉

To date I have had 2,513 views of my blog. I would have never guessed that I would have that many ever. I have 151 followers between email, Facebook, the Twitter and Tumblr. For those of you wondering what Tumblr is, I really have no idea either 😉 I do have two followers on there though!

Speaking of not knowing about things if you haven’t noticed I am pretty green when it comes to this blogging stuff. I kind of feel like those insurance commercials where the lady thinks Facebook is putting pictures on her wall at home. So to those that notice I apologize and trust me I am pinning until my fingers bleed and researching as much as I can to figure this stuff out. I now pretty much know what meta and seo means without having to google it. (Please don’t quiz me just yet) As far as my amateur photography goes I am down to only a smart phone that is not so smart since both of my cameras crapped out on me. Plus I was never good at photography anyway but luckily Wisconsin is a very pretty state so it gives me a lot to work with 🙂

I want to clarify a couple of things. Personal trainer is actually my dad. Husband and step-son are well my husband and step-son. The reason I don’t put the “the” in front of their names all of the time is from what I understand a lot of bloggers change their families and friends names. So no I am not trying to be silly towards them I was just trying to follow the rules. I have been thinking about changing Avery’s name to she-ra. Not legally just bloggally. Percy will always be Percy. If you have ever met my fluffy bundle of cat you know he is just Percy.

I am working on putting posts into the categories so if there are things that I write about that just aren’t your bag you can easily skip over them. (If it’s my casserole posts that you don’t like I personally challenge you to not love corn casserole) I hope to make my blog as user-friendly as possible within the means that I have.

In conclusion, thank you all for reading this messy, half-put together blog 😉 I still get super excited when I see likes, comments and follows 😀 I look forward to writing more posts as soon as my blogger’s block disappears.

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See Wisco makes picture-taking easy
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He’s just Percy and that’s that