Infertility is the worst roller-coaster I have ever been on. It tests your relationships not only with your partner but with friends and family. Once you get married people think that you should automatically be pregnant. I think people assume that after the wedding you just poof become pregnant. Well for some people that doesn’t happen that way. I found out I was one of them.

Our story begins in September 2008. My husband and I decided to start to try to have a baby. We both expected it to go quickly. He had a son from a previous relationship and I had never had any gynecological problems. We went eight months with nothing then in May of 2009 I woke up with cramps and heavy bleeding. Without a pregnancy test we will never know but after a visit with my provider our best guess is that I had a miscarriage. At that time I really started to wonder why we had not had a successful pregnancy. Well unfortunately you have to wait until a year has passed before anyone will consider infertility an option or problem. So, a year or so went by with no luck I decided to see an obgyn that specialized in infertility. Well he turned out to be no help at all and told me there was nothing wrong with me and to keep trying. I left that appointment feeling so disappointed; I really didn’t know where to turn after that. Luckily, my best friend convinced me to see the Doctor that she was working for at the time. That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. She immediately wanted to get to the bottom of it. After some testing and suggestions with no luck she contacted another ob at a larger facility. That Doctor wanted me to get some lab work done and have my prolactin level tested. When the results came back my prolactin level was higher than it should have been. So I was put on Bromocriptine to regulate my prolactin level and to help me get pregnant. After being on Bromocriptine for a while I started taking Clomid which is a drug that is used to stimulate ovulation. Well, that wasn’t working either. Fast forward to February 2011 we had decided to go ahead and do an IUI. An IUI is a procedure where sperm is inserted directly into a woman’s uterus. So after many ultrasounds to make sure I had enough eggs we were ready to do the IUI. A couple of weeks after the procedure I got my period. I was crushed I really thought that this was our shot and we missed it. After all of the money we had spent on fertility drugs, doctor appointments and ultrasounds I wasn’t sure we could afford IVF. So we decided to take a “break” from trying and save up for IVF. For some reason I had my period on and off for three months and no one could really figure out why. I was feeling faint all of the time and my prolactin level shot up higher than it had ever been before. I always had problems with headaches and migraines but they were awful when I would take Clomid. I kept pushing through because I so desperately wanted a baby. Then all of a sudden I stopped bleeding and life kind of went back to normal.

In July of 2011 I found out I was pregnant. Finally it worked I was going to be a mother!! I can’t even describe the happiness and love I felt when my Doctor called to tell me the great news 😀 Unfortunately my son was born sleeping in September.

After we had our son we knew we wanted to try again. I was prepared for the long fight we had ahead of us. But by some miracle I became pregnant with our daughter in March of 2012. We didn’t have to do anything besides the obvious; no drugs or procedures. She was born in October of that year and she is wonderful ❤

When I was pregnant with my son I wasn’t sure if I could go through the infertility treatments again. I thought if I could have just one little miracle child that might be good enough. I always wanted more children but I wasn’t sure if we could go through it all again. The Doctor that performed the IUI said most people she does this for come in five years later asking her to make it stop. She was kind of a goof. She said sometimes all it takes is your body to be able to get pregnant and then bam it’s like it finally woke up and it can do it on it’s own.

I mentioned before that relationships can be tested during infertility. Our marriage was tested big time. You kind of feel like a failure. Everyone else on God’s green earth can get pregnant except for you. The hormones and drugs you take make you feel crazy in turn that crazy comes out on the person you live with. Let’s just say things could get a little hairy and some situations arose. Also friends and family sometimes act a little weird around you. People don’t want to tell you when they are pregnant or other people in your circle are pregnant. I know they mean well and are only trying to look out for you. I appreciate everyone for looking out for me and listening to me during the rough times. It is nice to have good friends and family. For me I tried to stay positive. I wanted to be involved when people around me that were expecting. I was truly happy for them. It is a little hard I am not going to lie but I didn’t want to be Debbie Downer. The people that really made me mad and do to this day are the ones that are on drugs and can pop out kids like a vending machine. That drives me crazy!! There are so many people that experience infertility that are wonderful people and would make wonderful parents but instead these people that care more about drugs then their kids keep having them. AHHHHHH it drives me nuts!! But moving on lets just say infertility sucks.

My advice to anyone experiencing infertility is to keep pushing forward as much as you can. If you feel like you are at the end of your rope take a break. Sometimes when you do that a little miracle happens ❤ It is totally okay to freak out, get upset and shed some tears. With all of the hormones running through your body I think you are entitled. For the love of God don’t give up HOPE. Miracles happen everyday!! I know that is true I have experienced two of them 🙂 When you finally get pregnant or adopt it is the most wonderful feeling in the world!! I have never adopted but I know people that have and they love it!! When you hold your bundle for the first time all of the treatments and other business you went through is totally worth it 🙂

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My baby shower for Mason ❤
One of Avery’s pics from her 2 year old session. The teddy bear is one the hospital gave us when I had Mason. Love this pic ❤

Birthday Hangover

That is how I feel after the big Birthday blowout. So yesterday was the big day; the party was planned, the food was bought and we were ready to roll. At 6:00 a.m. the day started by me putting the ham in the crock pot. Then we moved on to salads, dip and meatballs. Then it was on to decorating and last-minute cleaning. So I pulled out all of my homemade Tangled decorations and away we went. After decorating it was a trip to the store to pick up the cake and balloons. That was an adventure. Somewhere in my sleepless haze I told the store to blow up 17 balloons. OMG what in the world was I thinking!?!? I am sure I looked absolutely ridiculous carrying my balloons across the parking lot in my yoga capris (I upgraded from yoga pants) and no make-up. The balloons overtook me they were everywhere. Finally I just let them blow around behind me while I walked very fast to my car. Then I actually had to get them into the car. I am surprised I didn’t get choked by all of the ribbon. Needless to say I was not able to see out of my back window on the way home.

When I started to get my daughter dressed for her party I realized something. She had boogers in her hair. Ugh I had no time to give her a bath the party started at noon and it was 11:30. So we got them out and moved on. Then the guests started to arrive, we had a great turnout! Avery had tons of littles and adults come to celebrate with her 🙂 She even had her little boyfriend over ❤ They don’t go on dates by themselves or anything they are always supervised 😉

Of course the day wouldn’t be complete without Avery going to her toilet water park. We couldn’t find her and then my husband came out of the bathroom with a soaked Avery. So she had a wardrobe change and we went back to partying. Then came the gifts. Tons and tons of them. She has quite a few favorites but her absolute is the Bubble Guppies Check-up Center and Clambulance. I have to admit it is pretty cute. She has been playing with all of her toys ever since her party. She also got a little Minnie Mouse doll. That thing hasn’t left her hand all day. She even held it while she ate supper.

After we had cake it was time to play outside. The kids had a blast running around. Did I mention that I gave out princess wands to the girls and light-up bouncy balls to the boys? My advice is if you give out bouncy balls at a party maybe use them as a parting gift. The kids were really good with them until they got outside. Someone got hit in the eye.

Once everyone left it was time to vacuum my stupid maroon carpet (I’ll explain later, let’s just say it shows everything) Then we pretty much sat around because we all ate too much. We also had a Birthday party for my best friends kids the day before. It was a lot of over eating all weekend. I am happy to report that we were all sleeping my 8:30 last night! Oh happy day!! Avery slept from 8:30 until 6:30 this morning when she fell out of the bed. Not a good morning for her. She is very clumsy and accident prone I think she gets it from me 😦  We washed all of her new duds she got yesterday so she could wear some today.

All in all it was a good party. A little stressful at times preparing and trying to get the house clean but it was all worth it to see how happy she was 🙂 She loved the balloons all 17 of them. She is still loving 16 of them today, we gave one away. We tried to give more away but the rest of the parents were smart and said no. I kind of forced the one parent that took one. Here are some pics of my silly decorations and Avery playing. Enjoy!!

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The Bubble Guppies Check-up center and Clambulance 🙂
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Home made decoration
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More home-made decorations

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