For the past seven days Avery has not slept through the night. I take that back there was one night she did, I on the other hand could not. Last night I reached the point of no return; I left her in the bed and let her cry it out. I got 40 minutes of wonderful sleep on the couch. She finally fell asleep and slept until 8:30 a.m. I am not sure why she is not sleeping; she does not have a fever, ear ache, stomach ache, and she does not do illegal drugs that would keep her up all night. She does want to have an all night dance party and play with her toys though. I am starting to feel like she was brought here to make sure I never sleep again. Maybe I am just talking crazy because I am not getting the proper amount of sleep. I have consumed the largest amount of coffee ever in my life. I think if you cut me I would bleed coffee and it would smell like caramel vanilla creamer.
Usually I have a hard time letting her cry it out. I am the absolute worst worry wart you will ever meet in your life. Even though I was at the end of my rope this morning I still worried about the most absurd things. I convinced myself that she had smothered herself in a blanket, gotten a hold of something dangerous and hurt herself or she cried too much and couldn’t breathe. I worry as a hobby. So of course I did the thing you are not supposed to do and I opened the door to check on her. Of course she was almost asleep and when she saw me she started crying again. Ugh why am I so stupid!! Just for the record we do not keep dangerous things around Avery. I also worry that there is something really wrong with her. Last night I convinced myself that she had some weird incurable disease. I even got to the point of thinking maybe I should take her to the Doctor. Then sanity came and I thought what in the world am I going to say during the assessment; “She won’t sleep so she must have something very wrong with her” Then the Doctor would say go home you stupid woman I have a cardiac in room three.
I keep asking myself are the terrible twos here early? I am starting to think yes. Just yesterday she threw an absolute fit because I did not give her a cracker fast enough. Sometimes I think maybe she is just tired and that is why she is acting out then it’s like wake up dummy it’s not that. She is a toddler and she is testing the heck out of me. This is probably one of the scariest things I have encountered. I have heard the horror stories and seen them play out in the grocery store. I had my own yesterday. (Gosh yesterday was stressful with Avery) We were at the checkout and she refused to stay by me. Of course we were behind someone arguing about prices and blah, blah, blah. There was no other checkers coming to rescue me so we waited and waited. Then it happened she took off like a shotgun blast. Off to the liquor department she went. By the time I caught her she had a Margarita in a pouch and was going for some vodka. Of course that’s when you also run into one of the snottiest people you know as your peeling a margarita out of your toddler’s pudgy hands. “Isn’t she a little young to be drinking Autumn?” Seriously?!?! Yes I give my kid alcohol. It’s like trust me if I gave her alcohol I wouldn’t have bags under my eyes and I probably would have put jeans on instead of yoga pants because I would be getting way more sleep lady.
In conclusion I am trying to be optimistic about our sleeping future. Tonight it doesn’t look so bright but the night is young. Yes in my opinion my daughter is the cutest toddler ever. Even at 3:00 a.m. she is cute, by 4:30 things start to get a little hairy but we push through. I guess the only thing I can do is keep on keepin’ on and hope and pray that someday she will sleep. I know I shouldn’t complain but I think I am in some kind of sleepless haze. To all of you that are having sleepless nights I feel ya and hope it gets better for you too 🙂 For those of you that slept eight hours last night please don’t tell me until my daughter is at least 16 😉