Why is there a booger on my….

After a couple heavy posts I decided it’s time to have a little fun and joke around again 😉 (Hence the title of this blog entry)

Since having a toddler I have said a lot of things and asked a lot of questions that I never thought I would ever ask in my life. Like the other day when I asked “Why is there a booger on my water bottle? Turns out my daughter was chewing on it and left me a present behind.  I think I say “Don’t put THAT in your mouth” a 100 times a day. The other night my husband told me that when I talk to Avery I sound like I am talking to a dog because I am always saying, “Come here Avery”or “Avery, get OVER here!!”

We are teaching Avery how to use steps since we have moved into our new house. (She knows how to but she never had to go up a flight of them before) I feel like I am a motivational speaker when we are going up and down the stairs. She wants to look back instead of forward so then I am always saying “Avery look ahead don’t look behind you” Avery keeping looking forward” She also has an obsession with the toilet. She loves to splash around in there like she is at a water park. Now you are probably wondering why don’t you put a child lock on your toilet dummy. I don’t have one on there because I am a dummy and I hate toilet child locks. So every once in a while Avery gets to go to the “water park”.

We just moved in to a new house but you really wouldn’t know it. We no longer have a coffee table, bookcases or shelving because our daughter would destroy everything. I have a table that she can barely reach that I have by a set of windows so I thought it would be okay to put some cute decorations on it. I came home the other day and there was an angel laying on the floor with no head. Somehow Avery used her superpowers to get that angel and take its head off. I thank God that I had enough sense not to get plants and put them on that nice table by the window.

As I am writing she has managed to take the cushion off of the couch and she is using it as her trampoline. I am actually getting a little sick to my stomach from the bouncing. Did I mention she BROKE our couch? Yeah that happened…. I watch and actually DVR cartoons now. I think my almost two year-old uses more DVR space then I do.  Did I mention the toys? The toys that are all over the house? I found a plastic pig in the refrigerator the other day. These toys are dangerous to adults. Like in the middle of the night when you are so sleepy but have to go to the bathroom so you get up and then it happens you step on a Lego or princess and you are wide awake and in horrible pain.

I now long for the days when Avery slept, ate, pooped and repeated. I had candles, plants, decorations and things that don’t have bite marks. I know those days will come when she won’t want anything to do with me and the thought of even riding in a car with me will be embarrassing. When I miss the cuddles and goodnight kisses I will look back at this post and I will pop in a movie and take a nap 😉

But then she runs up to me in her cute little outfits, grabs my hand and holds it tight. I remember why I wanted kids so badly :)She keeps me on my toes for sure and everyday is pretty much dedicated to her. Like this morning for instance instead of doing my daily chores, I ran around getting her bag packed for her little two-year old photo shoot today. (I have been told I treat her like a supermodel when she gets her pictures taken.) I really do not think that is the case 😉 But I wouldn’t have my life any other way; she makes me so happy I could just burst ❤ Being a mom is truly the best job I have ever had 🙂

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An example of toddler destruction 😉
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These are toys, some parts are small. Adults beware!